Tag Archives: writer

There’s a Literary Genius in the House… and It Ain’t Me

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I’ve been working on two different posts lately… one about how I tell my kids it’s my #1 job to keep them safe but how in reality, things are sometimes completely and frighteningly out of my control and another about how sometimes I feel totally inadequate in all areas of parenting and life. (You know, just some light reading for Spring Break.) As you can imagine, both will be hysterical and uplifting and won’t cause you to have panic attacks at all!!

While I continue to sort out those comedic masterpieces, I thought I’d share some of the Loud One’s recent academic exploits.

Side note: my kids are really funny. And not in the “they have fantastic senses of humor” way, but mostly in the “kids are funny because they say things that are wrong or crazy and then we laugh at them” kind of way.

Like when The Nibbit was mad in the bathtub a few weeks ago and yelled, “The Loud One keeps kicking me in the pirates!” See? Funny.

So anyway, the Loud One and I are working on “Sight Words” at home. Words that, at this point of the Kindergarten year, she should be able to recognize, spell and use in a sentence. For the most part, she’s doing great. (According to her teacher at our recent conference, she’s reading at an 11th grade level and given her math and science skills, she should probably skip straight through to 4th grade. But we’re not crazy like that, so we’ll just keep her where she is and continue with our daily three-hour vocabulary drills.)

Anyway, some of these sight words include: if, and, an, but, can, am, if, not… etc. (I added “Fruit Loops” and “milk” to her list so that I don’t have to get out of bed in the morning. And “beer,” too as a tiny, little gift to her father.)

Well, we’ve been working on reading and writing these words and recently had the following exchange:

Me: Now, let’s practice the word “am” by using it a sentence.
LO: <blank stare>
Me: OK, I’ll give you some examples and then you’ll take a turn. “I am going…”
LO: <interrupts> … to the grocery store.”
Me: Great! How about “I am…
LO: “… hungry for some ice cream. But not mint. Just chocolate. With sprinkles. Can we have some? Pleeeease??”
Me: Hmm. We’ll see. But GREAT sentence. OK, last one. “I am feeling…
LO: … nervous about going into a cave. Because of the bats.”
Me: <Blank stare>

She’s taken this talent for description a step further and has now become obsessed with writing her own “chapter books.” I’ve given her a whole bunch of small notebooks and she is rapidly filling them with short stories, primarily about Huskies, but there is one about turtles as well. She’s usually in such a frenzy to get her thoughts on paper that some of her spelling and grammar suffers. But these stories are awesome. There have interesting characters, suspense and exciting plot twists!

Here’s a sample:

A Husky Sikness   

Wons thar wos a husky. He had siknis. He was onle a baby. The husky had tarubl siknis.  He coft and coft and coft. Sutly he medid a hors. He sed “BO.” Husky sed “You skerd me! You skerd my hikups awa!” He shawtd “Hra Hra.” The End.

 Translation: Once there was a Husky. He had sickness. He was only a baby. The Husky had terrible sickness. He coughed and coughed and coughed. Suddenly, he meeted [met] a horse. He said, “Boo.” Husky said, “You scared me! You scared my hiccups away!” He shouted “Hooray Hooray.” The End.

 GET IT? He didn’t have a tarubl siknis after all! It was just the hiccups!! Genius, am I right?

And one more:

Huske Folod The Ramboe

(Now, I’m pretty sure nobody’s messing with Sylvester Stallone in her story, so I’m going to guess she meant “Husky Followed the Rainbow.”)

Husky went on a bot. He soring to sink. He got biting by a sork. He was a hape sork, iksep he wos hongre. It hrt. Help! The End.

Translation: Husky went on a boat. He started(?) to sink. He got bitten by a shark. He was a happy shark, except he was hungry. It hurt. Help! The End.

I am pretty sure that the Husky’s quest for the pot of gold didn’t end well in this one but that’s what I love about it!! A surprise ending! The title sucks you in and then the story takes you in a whole other direction! Fantastic!

That’s it. In addition to over-sharing the boring minutiae of my life, my new goal for this blog is to find her a publisher. People, she’s got that special something.