Tag Archives: update

Poor, old, neglected blog


[I’d like you to picture Ursula the Sea Witch singing the title of this post, please.]

I promise you the neglect of this blog in NO WAY reflects the way I parent my children. Well, maybe it does a little, but you say “neglect,” I say, “fostering independence.” Tomato, Tomahto.

Here’s what’s been happening since we last interacted:

The kids have become kind of boring.

I KNOW, I should NEVER say that out loud because next think I know, the school nurse will be calling me with all, “Lice! Strep! Broken bones! Behavioral problems!”

But that’s not to say our days are boring. They’re not. Ever. They’re still busy and loud and active and fun and sometimes not fun, but they’re never, ever boring.

But as far as “issues I shall ponder upon in my blog,” we just haven’t had many of those come up lately.

I could talk to you about the fact that my EIGHT year old now has a full mouth of braces and I’m not exactly sure how it happened. Especially since braces are not supposed to enter the picture until birds and bees and bras enters the picture and Lord knows, I’m not ready for ANY of that. But so it goes. Luckily, it hasn’t effected her amazing smile one single bit.


We can talk about how the Nibbit is really in the Kindergarten groove now… he comes home reading new words EVERY. SINGLE. DAY and it blows my mind. I honestly think there’s a special place in heaven for all teachers, but ESPECIALLY Kindergarten teachers. Because THEY TEACH OUR CHILDREN TO READ.

Our kids walk in those doors sort of understanding what letters are and then they come home all, “Oh? Little Pea? I can read that NO PROBLEM.” AND THEN THEY DO. They read it and their little brothers look at them in awe like, “When in the hell did you learn to do that??” And they’re all, “I learned it in Kindergarten… you will, too… someday. But not that soon.” (I didn’t say he was any less fresh. Another reason teachers shall be rewarded in the afterlife.)

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I could then tell you all about how even my littlest baby is getting to be a real kid and not just some preschooler who walks around saying, “Blah blah!” OK, that would be a lie. He is definitely still a preschooler who walks around saying, “Blah blah!” and let me assure you that this does not get any less annoying the more you hear it.

The other day, I was encouraging HD to get his shoes on for school and he just kept saying, “Blah blah baby!” My sister, who was sitting in my kitchen, laughed and said, “Oh Happy Dude, you’re such a textbook right now.”

So he may be annoying, but at least he’s TEXTBOOK annoying. Which is the BEST KIND of annoying. Ask anyone.

(By the way, he also “requests” (those are air quotes which are intended to imply that “requests” really means “demands”) that I tuck the loops of his shoelaces into the top laces so they don’t “bounce and bother him.” WTF?? I’m fairly certain this is NOT textbook, but I’m hoping it’s one of those things that if I don’t give too much attention, it’ll go away.)

Aside from all the textbook annoyances and neurosis, he’s also learning stuff. LOOK:


He’s sort of writing his name!

(I know I’ve never mentioned the kids’ real names on this blog, but most of you know them by now, PLUS this won’t really clue you in if you don’t know what you’re looking for. )

Ah, my baby’s all grown up! Next stop, college applications! Or, you know, working-in-a-fast-food-chain applications!

Oh well, at least he still looks like this:


In addition to all the learning, we’re also busy with soccer and baseball and drama (both the “LO-is-taking-a-theater-class” variety, as well as the “Eyeroll, ‘seriously, mom?’” variety) and homework and worrying about the Ebola virus* and birthday parties and writing stories and playing with friends, etc. etc. etc. (*This one is really only something I’ve been busy doing.)

And of course, always on the evening agenda, Wrestle Baby.

The other night,

LO: C’mon guys, let’s go upstairs and play Wrestle Baby.
Nibbit: OH YEAH! I’m gonna win this Wrestle Baby!
LO: There’s no winning or losing Nib, there’s only kicking people’s butts and then celebrating.

Ah, the phone’s ringing…. “Lice! Strep! Broken bones! Behavioral problems!” GUARANTEED.


PS. If you’re not following, “Who Needs A Nap?” on Facebook, you’re missing stuff like this:


PPS. I also want to mention that I’ve got a couple other writing endeavors going on, which has contributed to the neglect of this blog. It’s like I have a couple shiny, new toys that are getting all my attention, while poor, old “Who Needs A Nap?” is like the old toy that’s been relegated to corner where her batteries will probably die. I promise to try to pull her out and keep the dust balls from forming, but hopefully that explains why there have been – and will probably continue to be – longer lapses between posts. JUST until I get my Pulitzer. Then I’ll totally be back full time. Deal? Deal.

An Update on Soccer (and other things)


At least four people have asked me how The Nibbit did at soccer this week. (That’s really true. I’m not just writing that as a fake way to introduce this post.) And as I started to write a Soccer Update, I thought you might like an update on some of the other things I’ve discussed this past year.

I debated waiting until December to do this as a nice end-of-the-year round-up, but I have never been one for delayed gratification. So you’re getting it now.

  • The Nibbit had a MUCH better experience at soccer this week. Amanda brought him (at his request), armed with a post-soccer snack and lots of encouragement. He still didn’t love all the drills – he’s particularly unfond (is that a word? it should be) of the jumping in and out of the rope ladder thingy. But we’ve got progress! He played in the mini-game and scored two goals. I think all the positive feedback he received for that should carry him through next week as well. Feed the ego… that’s my strategy.
  • Ben Folds was great. I did NOT receive 30 comments on that post, so there will be no scrunchie photos for you but TRUST ME, I rocked it.
  • Bic has NOT contacted me about becoming the next National Spokesperson for their “Pens for Her” line. WTF? Not even one Goddamn free sample?
  • Squeaky and Pip are doing well THRIVING and The Loud One still loves them. They are still terrified of us. (Wait, maybe they’re not thriving. Well, they’re growing really fast.) Anybody have any idea when they’ll warm up and leap into her arms? I’m afraid she’ll lose interest in them if they don’t start really liking her back soon.
    • We had to bring them to the vet to get their nails trimmed this week because my attempt to do it myself was, um, shall we say UNSUCCESSFUL. Two pet pedicures (yes! they are really called that!) and $40 later, we can hold Squeaky and Pip without looking like we got into a catfight with a drunk girl.
    • Here’s what I’ve learned about guinea pigs: they POOP A LOT. That is all.
  • Despite what you may be thinking, I have not been fired from the EW.com gig (I don’t think). I’ve written a bunch of columns, but they just haven’t been posted yet. I’m not sure that’s a good sign, but I’ll let you know if/when I get the “this just isn’t working out the way we hoped it would” speech.
  • I’m thrilled to say that I’ve noticed less “Just waits… ” happening around me. I don’t dare think my blog has any kind of influence, so I’m going to call it a happy coincidence and just be glad. If you are someone who has decreased your own usage of “Just waits,” WELL DONE!
  • My bag is still a disaster. A quick list of what’s in there right now: Peppermint hand sanitizer; two pairs of dirty kids’ socks from God knows when; an Epi-pen (I’ve finally decided to be more responsible about my kids’ allergies); one Matchbox car; three packs of gum; three gum wrappers; one straw; one used tissue (I’m pretty sure that used tissue makes me an OFFICIAL member of the Mom’s Club, right? That and the gum and the Matchbox car?); one packet of Teddy Grahams; one chip clip (in case we don’t finish the snack-size packet of Teddy Grahams?); a billion receipts from outlet shopping earlier in the week; one old grocery list; one Back to School Night program; all the same lollipops; markers and animal figures that were there last time and a tube of Tylenol. Oh and one giant Tupperware on top.
  • The Loud One isn’t writing as many books as she used to. I am REALLY, REALLY SAD about this. But she is reading a lot more so that’s a fair exchange. And guess what else she still loves? PRETENDING SHE’S A PUPPY. Seems that might never get old. Awesome.
  • I have not gotten a publishing offer for my book about pregnancy yet. I’m not sure why. I feel like women need to know the truth even if it is extraordinarily depressing. Am I wrong?

And I still really, really HATE cancer.


You have to carry this around in case your awesome friend offers to make you soup. Duh.