Tag Archives: sleep

About last night…

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So last night was a real shit show in our house and I’d like to tell you all about it.

7:00 pm: The kids and I got home from activities and a dinner out consisting of the four food groups: beige protein, beige carb, ketchup and milk. They were all hyped up and acting very silly and from the time of 7:05 to the time of 8:15 pm, I may have said all of the following things:

  • Please take the underwear off of your head.
  • Please stop taking the underwear off of your body.
  • Please brush your teeth.
  • Remember, we don’t eat the toothpaste?
  • You should brush really well, because we’re going to the dentist tomooooorrrow….
  • It’s fine to wear pajamas out of the dirty laundry basket.
  • You’re going to lose our special reading time if you don’t take the underwear off of your head.
  • Did you brush your teeth?
  • There are no sheets on your bed because you peed in your bed last night.
  • There are ALSO no sheets on your bed because you ALSO peed in your bed last night.
  • I know you feel very sorry about that. I feel very sorry, too.
  • Have you watered your hermit crabs at all lately?
  • TAKE. THE. UNDERWEAR. OFF. YOUR. HEAD. AND. BRUSH. YOUR. TEETH.

Scare tactics? CHECK. Passive guilt? CHECK. Inappropriate punishment? CHECK. Raised voice? CHECK.

OK, so finally, by 8:15, they’re all in bed. So I thought. 

8:18 pm: I came downstairs, picked up the 4,731 cars that were lying around my kitchen and family room as some sort of elaborate obstacle course, designed so that I would slip on one and fall flat on my back like a cartoon character and be too injured to take anyone to the dentist today.

8:30 pm: Once the automotive mine field was clear, I cleaned up the rest of the toys.*

*Usually toy clean-up is part of our pre-bed ritual, but sometimes it’s just easier to do it myself than deal with watching their painfully slow process.

8:40 pm: I made myself a cup of hot tea and was all set to watch the latest episode of Scandal. (Don’t judge… at least I don’t watch [what YOU were watching last night.]) As I sat down on the couch, I knocked over the cup of hot tea and it went flying. I managed to hit 18 different surface areas with one goddamn mug of tea and it took me longer to clean that up than it did the 4,731 cars.

8:55 pm: OK, Scandal… here we go… I hit play and…

8:56 pm: Happy Dude’s up. MOMMY? WHERE ARE YOU? I’M IN YOUR ROOM AND YOU’RE NOT HERE IN YOUR ROOM BUT I’M LOOKING FOR YOU BECAUSE I’M VEWY VEWY FIRSTY AND I CAN’T REACH THE DRINKS!!

Well, after the two wet beds the night before you can understand why I felt a tiny bit reluctant to offer up beverages, so I said, “You can have a tiny bit of water but then you have to try to pee.”

HD did NOT love that idea. I WANT TO HAVE ALL OF THE WATER IN A FULL CUP AND I DO NOT HAVE TO PEE.

Me: Please stop yelling. Loud One and the Nibbit are sleeping and I really would prefer you didn’t wake them up.
HD: I JUST WANT ALL THE WATER. I’M VEWY VEWY FIRSTY.

So, he drinks the water and I make him try to pee. As the pee is coming out of his body, he is still yelling, I DO NOT HAVE TO GO PEE PEE!

Aaaaand, back to bed.

I’m going to fast forward through the rest of the night because I think a general overview will give you a good sense of how the night played out. Please know that I am NOT exaggerating about what you read next.

9:45 pm: HD is up. He NEEDS ANOTHER DRINK BECAUSE I’M SO FIRSTY. (Made him pee. Again. Call me paranoid, but I was not changing sheets all night again.)

10:20 pm: HD is up. He CAN’T SWEEP IN HIS OWN BED BECAUSE ALL OF MY ANIMALS ARE GONE. (They weren’t.)

11:30 pm: After finally getting through a very unsatisfying Scandal episode, I go to sleep.

11:50 pm: HD is up because he’s NOT SWEEPY.

12:20 am: The Nibbit is up. He had a “bad dream about the bad guys coming and they wanted to get my… but I couldn’t get my… and…and…” I sympathize, give hugs, nightmares are tough, let’s think happy thoughts, blah blah blah.

12:55 am: Happy Dude is up. He NEEDS A TISSUE AND SOME JUICE.  Now I’m really starting to get pissed off. I silently bring him back to his bed as he screams I REALLY NEED A TISSUE AND JUICE! A TISSUE!! I NEEEEED A TISSSSSUUUUE! I hand him a tissue* and I tell him that I will not be tucking him again.

*For those of you thinking, “Well if she keeps giving him what he wants, he’s going to keep waking up,” I have a few things to say. First, suck it. Second, I know this is true, but I also know that, I will always give the tissue to stop the screaming. ALWAYS.  Right or wrong, in the middle of the night, I simply don’t have the patience that the proper parenting techniques require. I may not have that patience during the day either, but that’s a different post entirely.

1:20 am: I hear whimpering and crying coming from the Nibbit. I debate ignoring it but don’t want him to wake up the Loud One (irony), so I walk in there. Another bad dream, more comforting, blah blah blah BUT this time, he’s upset. I CAN’T GO BACK TO SLEEP! I’M TRYING TO TAKE A DEEP BREATH BUT I CAN’T BREATH! It’s OK, Nibbit… calm down, everything’s fine, you’re OK, you really need some sleep and I really need some sleep… and the Loud One chimes in from the top bunk, “and I REALLY need some sleep because I’m going to the dentist tomorrow!”

2:10 am: HD wanders into my room and starts saying something about his stupid needs and… I LOST IT.

Now, please know that I’m not proud of what comes next. But I lay it all out here so that so many of you can feel better about how you DIDN’T scream at your kids at 2:10am last night.

I start YELLING. At 2:30 in the morning, I am screaming, “HD, THIS IS NOT OK! YOU CANNOT KEEP WAKING ME UP! YOU’VE HAVE BEEN OUT OF YOUR BED EVERY HALF HOUR ALL NIGHT LONG AND IT HAS TO STOP! I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE!”

So, of course then, HE loses it…

HD <SOBBING> : “I WANT DADDY!! I WANT DADDY!”*

*Daddy’s on a business trip. Lucky, lucky Daddy is sleeping in a hotel right now.

Me <deep breath> : Daddy’s not here. TRUST ME, I wish Daddy was here, too, but he’s not. I’m sorry I yelled at you, but I’m just so tired. So why don’t we go back to sleep and we’ll call him in the morning, ok?
HD : Okaaaaaay. And maybe I can have a whole drink in the morning?
Me: Yes, that sounds like a very good plan.

4:30 am: The Nibbit: I HAVE TO GO POOP AND I NEED YOUR HELP! Great.

5:15 am: HD: I REALLY HAVE TO GO PEE PEE AND POOPY!! Awesome.

6:00am: HD: I’M DONE SWEEPING! Nooooooo!

How can that even be true? You’ve only been asleep for like 17 total minutes!

7:00am: I drag myself downstairs to find HD drinking a big cup of juice, lovingly poured by his big sister. HI MOMMY! ‘MEMBER WHEN I WAS SO FIRSTY LAST NIGHT?

Um, yeah, I ‘member.

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This is what he looked like all night last night. Which might explain why he was FIRSTY.

[Lack of] Sleep Log

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KJ left for five days in London on Sunday, so I decided that as the sole parent responsible for dealing with ALL nighttime activity – bedtime and nightmares and crib-climbing, oh my! – I would keep a log detailing everything that goes down in the average five-night period, between the hours of 6:30pm and 6:30am.

Please note: I know that nobody really cares about my kids’ nighttime sleep schedules. But someday, when I miss my kids because they prefer their friends’ company over mine and/or are 848 miles away at college and/or they’re living overseas somewhere teaching English and/or they’re drinking too much and forgetting to call me every five minutes, I’m going to pull this post up and read it over and over again.

SUNDAY

10:30 pm: The Loud One starts screaming. When LO screams, it’s a pretty safe bet she’s experiencing one of her NIGHT TERRORS. Dum, dum, dum.

Now, while “Night Terrors” sounds like a really bad horror movie destined to have four sequels, they’re actually no joke. You can read more about them HERE or you can just believe me when I say that night terrors turn your kid into an agitated zombie who babbles incoherently and moves their body in weird ways.

When LO is experiencing one, as she was on Saturday night, she will talk – or scream – but not make any sense; look us right in the eye but have no idea that we’re there; and scramble around the top bunk like she’s trying to escape from a tree that’s too high off the ground.

We usually just try to make physical contact – hold her hand or hug her – and say soothing things like “You’re OK… you’re just spending a little time in CrazyTown right now” or “LO, can you hear me? Tell your subconscious that it’d be great if you could sleep past 6:00 tomorrow morning…”

But this was a particularly bad one, so I lifted her out of the top bunk and carried her back to my room. I just held her in my lap, while she frantically jerked and yelled, and waited it out.

Eventually, she calmed down and I could feel her body release all the tension. She looked right at me and I said, “Are you OK now? You just had a bad dream.”

And she said, “Oh. I did?”

Um, yeah.

2:49 am: HD yelling, “Fix my blankies, please!” At least he’s polite in the middle of the night.

5:22 am: The Nibbit needs help. Wiping. Awesome.

Let the day begin!

MONDAY

Loud One and I have a deal that if she wakes up in the middle of the night when KJ is away, she can stay in our bed.

The second KJ walks out the door for any trip she starts asking, “Can I sleep in your bed?” every five minutes.

6:40 pm: The Nibbit is asleep. Let the angels sing. LO follows around 7:15.

7:47 pm: LO is up, “Can I sleep in your bed now?” No.

8:00 pm: HD is still awake. He’s yelling, “I need water! I need a truck! I need another song!” I go in and give him water, a truck and a song. I’m such an effing pushover.

8:15 pm: LO is up, “Can I sleep in your bed yet?” No.

10:20 pm: “How about now?” Finally, I turn off Grey’s Anatomy and let her climb in. (Yeah, I still watch Grey’s Anatomy. Shut up.)

2:25 am: Someone cries. I ignore it and it either goes away or I just fall back in a deep enough sleep to be able to ignore it.

2:50 am: Either that same someone is crying again or perhaps STILL crying. I get up. It’s Happy Dude and he’s upset because he “doesn’t want that!” I have no idea what he’s talking about so I say, “Me neither,” tuck him back in and go back to bed.

TUESDAY

7:30 pm: Everyone’s asleep… for now.

10:45 pm: LO comes running in and doesn’t even ask… just crawls right into bed with me.

4:34 am: HD is screaming for Amanda. In case anyone is wondering if I get upset that my baby screams for the babysitter in the middle of the night instead of me, the answer is no. In fact, no one wants Amanda to show up at 4:30 in the morning more than I do.

4:57 am: The Nibbit is crying… loudly… “You forgot to tuck me in!” It’s almost five in the morning; are you freaking kidding me? I get up and literally throw the bedspread over his body and walk out.

5:36 am: The Nibbit is now screaming because he has poked himself in the eye. ????!?!?!?!?!?!  He’s up for good, of course so I do what any rational parent does at that hour… give him the iPad and go back to sleep.

5:58 am: HD is now also up for good. He gets Cars II on the TV. And I go back to sleep

6:20 am: HD is crying because he has a snake in his mouth. WTF? I stagger in there wondering what he could possibly be talking about and it’s a HAIR. In his mouth. Gross. I WISH I WAS KIDDING.

WEDNESDAY

We make it all the way until 3:12am with no wakings! Victory!

3:12 am: The Nibbit is yelling “MY COVERS ARE RUINED! MY COVERS ARE RUINED!” and as I stumble into his room, I mumble “My life is ruined. My life is ruined.”

4:30ish: I’m not sure of the exact time because I was too flabbergasted to write it down. I hear footsteps and assumed it’s the Nibbit again, but he never comes into the room. I force myself to get out of bed and HAPPY DUDE – you know, the one that still sleeps in the CRIB – is walking down the stairs.

This is not the first time he has climbed out of his crib, but I thought we had convinced him of the mortal dangers of doing so a few weeks ago. And it was certainly the first time he’s done it in the middle of the night. A bit disconcerting to say the least. I got him back to sleep, but then he…

6:00 am: … climbs back out. This time, he never wakes me up. He just goes straight downstairs to hang out with the Nibbit. I decide that I’m totally OK with that.

THURSDAY

Last night was relatively quiet. Either that, or I was SO TIRED I just slept through all of night terrors and crib-climbing and uncooperative covers and God knows what else.

KJ comes home tonight. We missed him.

Goodnight.

The only difference between my life and this picture is that THIS KID STAYS IN HIS CRIB.

The only difference between my life and this picture is that THIS KID STAYS IN HIS CRIB.

Why I Can’t Write About Sleep

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I’m working on a post about SLEEP but I’ve been so tired the past couple of days that I haven’t been able to put a cohesive paragraph together.* I’m no Alanis Morrisette, but I’m pretty sure that’s IRONY.

*(If you’re thinking “When does she ever put cohesive paragraphs together?” I’m pretty sure you’re not alone.)

So, while I struggle with that sleep post, I thought I’d give you a quick run of why I’m too tired to write it.

This is me trying to write the post about sleep. (Minus that headset-thingy... I don't have that.)

This is me trying to write the post about sleep. (Minus that headset-thingy… I don’t have that.)

Last night, 7:15 pm: All three kids are asleep. KJ’s away in Vegas on a conference (do they really hold “conferences” in Vegas or was I just a big sucker to believe that?).

8:15 pm: The Loud One appears crying because her mouth hurts.

Me: What do you mean, “your mouth hurts?”
LO <through tears>: Well, I was just sleeping when all of a sudden my brain woke me up to tell me that my mouth is really hurting. I think it’s my teeth.
Me: Hmmm… that’s a little strange because nothing was bothering you when you went to bed. Let me take a look. Quickly peek. Nope, I don’t see anything. Why don’t you go back to sleep – Mom Cliché Alert!it will feel better in the morning.

While tucking her back into the top bunk (she sleeps in the Nibbit’s room top bunk every night… in fact, she spends so little time in her room, we could probably turn it into a meditation room and she would never notice), the Nibbit wakes up and says, “You woke me up. Now I’m never going to sweep again!” <and immediately, he fall back asweep>

10:45 pm: Happy Dude starts yelling, “MAMA! MAAAMAAA! I need some wawa!” This water thing is new for him. I’ve learned that the fastest way to get him back to sleep is to give him six drops of water and say, “Ah, that’s better right? OK, na’night!”

2:00 am: Happy Dude again. This one’s a little trickier. Instead of water, he is requesting “Lightning and Mater! I want Lightning and Mater! And Mack and Red and Sarge and the Sheriff and Big Rig Gray!”

Me: HD, it’s the middle of the night. We’ll watch Cars tomorrow. You need to go back to sleep.
HD: No. Watch Cars now.
Me: Not now. In the morning. Would you like me to sing one song?
HD: No. I want Cars. Cars TWO. Finn McMissile, pwease.
Me: Sorry dude, I’ll tuck you in but we’re not watching Cars. Do you want me to tuck you in or should I leave?
HD: Um, I have wawa?
Me: No.
HD: Okaaaaaay.

3:45am: The Loud One runs in, whining, “My mouth REALLY hurts! It keeps waking me up!” Now I’m taking her a little bit more seriously because clearly, even SHE would rather be sleeping than whining at 3:45, right? So I do what any awesome parent would do at 3:45am: medicate. A little whiskey Tylenol and she’s back in bed.

5:50 am: The Nibbit who, unlike his sister, is SUPER STEALTH at night, sneaks up to my face and in the loudest possible whisper voice he says, “MOM! HEY MOM! I have to go real poopy RIGHT NOW.” Not fake poopy, mind you, but the real stuff.

Me <after I climb back into my skin that I have jumped out of>: OK. Go.
Nibbit: BUT I NEED YOU.
Me: OK, I’ll be there in a minute.
Nibbit: You should come now before you fall back asleep and then I’ll have to yell your name like <yells> “MOMMY! MOMMY!” and you’ll get mad because you don’t like when we yell before the 6.

I felt oddly proud of him at that moment. But also furious because if a kid has to poop before 6:00am, he REALLY should LEARN TO DO IT HIMSELF.

6:00 am: Now he’s seen the 6, so I just hand him the iPad and settle him onto the bathroom rug. (That’s where they watch the iPad in the morning if the other one is still asleep in the bunk beds. Not downstairs on the comfy couch. Not in the Loud One’s room. The BATHMAT.

6:10 am: The Loud One comes running in and bless her heart, the girl just can’t manage a whisper. Her vocal chords just weren’t built that way. But she says in her lowest loud voice, “Where’s Happy Dude?”

Me (eyes closed again): Hopefully in his crib, still asleep.
LO: Can I go get him?
Me: Um, no. He’s still asleep.
LO: Can I go check?
Me: No. She tiptoes about as well as she whispers. Ballet was never going to be a career option for her.
LO: Where’s the Nibbit?
Me: Watching the iPad in the bathroom.

She runs away. Aaaand, she’s back.

LO: Isn’t it my turn with the orange iPad?

Now. Let me break here for a moment to explain an ongoing issue we have our house. Let me preface this by saying that I recognize the ABSURDITY of what I’m about to say and hope that you won’t repeat this story to anyone that is suffering from any REAL problems, like unemployment or a bad hair day.

We have two iPads in this house. The newer one has an orange cover and holds about ten movies and a whole boatload of TV shows. The older one has a black cover and only has about three movies and two TV shows on it. EVERYONE KNOWS THAT THREE MOVIES AND TWO TV SHOWS ARE NOT ENOUGH FOR MORNING VIEWING.

So they argue over who gets the orange iPad. Every. damn. morning.

They’re supposed to simply take turns. Except that every morning, they are each ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that it is their turn to have the orange iPad. And I can never seem to remember whose turn it is and I keep forgetting to do something the night before to help me remember. So they argue.

<sigh>

Me: No. I’m pretty sure it’s Nibbit’s turn (I have no idea if this is true) but I think Happy Dude is awake now… you can go play with him.

6:25 am: The Loud One and the Happy Dude come running into my room and say, “Can we go downstairs and have cereal and waffles and watch Cars?”

Me: Yes, head downstairs, get some cereal, I’ll be down in a minute.

And I promptly fall back asleep.

6:50 am: They’re all in my room now, surrounding the bed, talking at the same time.

LO: Mommy, I finished my cereal. Can we have waffles now? Oh and I got Happy Dude juice but it spilled.
Nibbit: The orange iPad isn’t working. I think it’s bwoken. Can I have the bwack iPad now?
HD: Juice spill! Juice spill!
Nibbit: Maybe when I dwopped it, it bwoke?
HD: Juice spill! More juice pwease?
LO: Did you make the waffles yet? And can I do Perler beads now? Only one more day until the 100th Day of School!! Can we glue all my things down on that board now? Before school?
Nibbit: MOM, where is your phone? I can just use that because it has the Wego game on it and the bwack iPad doesn’t have the Wego game on it. The orange iPad has the Wego game but it’s bwoken.
LO: OH, guess what! I have a new tooth coming in the back of my mouth! I can see it!
HD: More juice pwease?

Guess it’s time to get out of bed.

And stay out of bed.

2013 Resolutions: You Can Be Better, Kids

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Tomorrow marks the First Anniversary of the official launch of WhoNeedsANap.me! Woohoo! What’s that you say? You are SO RIGHT… we really SHOULD celebrate with Margaritas! I like the way you think. I’ll meet you at that Mexican place and we’ll toast with rocks and salt to a fantastic year.

Seriously. I’d like to just say a big THANKS for all the time you guys spent reading and commenting this year. Whether you commented here, via email, on Facebook or to my real live face, I very much appreciate ALL of your feedback. I’m having a great time sharing my deepest and most sarcastic thoughts and I love to hear that I’ve made you chuckle or better yet, snarf coffee all over your keyboard.

That said, I think the timing is PERFECT for me to discuss my 2013 New Year’s Resolutions. I would have written this sooner, but KJ and I were already putting my first resolution into practice:

Resolution #1: Leave the kids with Aunt Lori and Amanda more often and enjoy life without the f***ers. Seriously, my sister is one of those people who truly enjoy the chaos that five kids (ages 2-9) under one roof provide. She thinks “ENERGY!” I think “SHUT UP!” But she claims to really love it and since she is the BEST SISTER EVER, who am I to deprive her of something she really loves?

So, we dropped the three of them off and left for Miami this past Saturday.

January 5th and I was already kicking ass on my resolutions. Nice.

Miami was fantastic. I kept expecting to see jLo or Don Johnson but sadly, that did not happen. We did enjoy poolside cocktails for most of the day on Saturday and then had a fun night out, which oddly enough, remains a bit fuzzy in my mind.

Side note: Since Santa did NOT deliver my hangover-free Margarita (what’s up with that, big guy?), I was a bit intrigued when friends whom we don’t see often enough leaned over to me at some point that night and said, “Pssst kmac, want to know how to avoid a hangover? We’ve got the answer… it’s this secret capsule of herbs…” I was all, “What the wha? This sounds AWESOME!” They continued, “… it’s this all-natural herb called MILK THISTLE. Have you heard of it? Take it with 32 oz of water and you will NOT get a hangover.” [I think there was another secret ingredient but like I said… it’s a bit fuzzy.]

Of course, I was too drunk by then to remember the words MILK THISTLE, but I’m totally going to try it next time. (And by next time, I mean TOMORROW NIGHT. Remember? Our MARGS??)

Considering the main point of the weekend was to attend the BCS National Championship (KJ is a Notre Dame alum), the trip went all sorts of downhill once that damn game started. But despite the atrocious loss and the fact that our rental transportation was a suspicious looking white van which resembled a vehicle one might use to lure in young children with candy, the weekend was a huge success.

Resolution #1. Check check.

Moving on.

Resolution #2: To write my kids more letters. If I die soon, as I’m pretty sure I will every single time I step on an airplane, I want my kids to have a box full of letters to read from me for all of life’s big events. You know, “To the Loud One On Her Wedding Day” and shit like that. I figure if I get diagnosed with a fatal disease, I’m going to be too busy eating Cadbury Mini Eggs by the pound and watching crap TV to write letters. And then there’s the whole I-could-get-hit-by-a-bus-tomorrow deal. So I’m going to start writing them letters. And I’m going to start RIGHT NOW.

This one is actually to-be-read while I’m still alive – like tomorrow, at breakfast – so consider this practice.

Dear (and sometimes not-so-much) Kids,

It’s January 9, 2013 now. This means nothing to you, other than Christmas is over and you have to wait another 350-ish days to get another boatload of presents.

Have you heard about New Year’s Resolutions? They’re like little goals that some adults set to try to improve themselves during the upcoming year. They usually say things like “exercise more” or “eat healthier foods” or “be nicer to my spouse even when he is being a jackhole” or “stop flipping the bird to all those g-damn awful drivers” or “quit hoarding stuff and find the cat” or “enjoy tequila on a more regular basis.” You get the point.

Well, as your Mother, I’ve decided to make some resolutions on your behalf. Because as much as people will tell you that you’re perfect just as you are, those are the same people who write and read blogs about rainbows and unicorns and sipping a cup of tea in the midday sun and, I’m sorry, but THEY ARE WRONG.

Nobody is 100% perfect. I mean you guys are close – the Loud One’s poetry is perfect and the way the Nibbit proudly sang “Six Geese of Weighing” every time it was his turn to sing during The Twelve Days on Christmas Eve was perfect and yes, Happy Dude’s way of saying “Hi Mommy! You want to pway cahs and twucks wit me?” whenever he sees me after not seeing me for 42 seconds is perfect BUT GUYS, (spoiler alert: big life lesson coming up) THERE IS ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT.

We have a lot of work to do this year, you and me. (Notice how I’m including myself in this? I’m a team player, kids… we are in this together.)

Let’s begin.

Family Resolution #1: Improve our tones of voice. It’s simple: YOU stop whining and I’LL stop yelling.

Look, I strongly dislike the way you say, “Maaaamaaa? Whyyyyyyyyy caaaaannnn’t I have juuuuiiiiccce?” and you don’t like the way I yell, “KNOCK IT OFF OR I’M GOING TO LOSE IT!” (Which of course prompts you to think, “Um, isn’t that what’s happening right now? Because if not, what exactly does ‘losing it’ look like?”) So let’s both just agree that from now on, we will speak to each other using an appropriate volume and without adding syllables to words where they don’t belong.

Family Resolution #2: I’ll start cooking if you start eating. If I make something other than chicken nuggets or mac-and-cheese, you’ll say something other than, “EWWW! Do we HAVE to eat THAT? THAT does NOT look good AT ALL!” Deal?

Family Resolution #3: Let’s all stop saying “No” so often. (Happy Dude: I’m talking to YOU, buddy.) I’ll say, “Let’s put your pajamas on,” you’ll say, “Sure!” You’ll say, “Can we pway cahs and twucks for a third hour?” and I’ll say, “Yes, the Nibbit would love to!” Done and done.

See how easy this can be?

Side note: Here are some things that I am honestly going to try to say yes to more often, for real life:

Will you read this to me?
Can we go outside?
Will you ride bikes with us?
Can I have a hug?*

*Lest you think I’m a terrible person for EVER saying no to this one, you should know that the Nibbit uses hugs as emotional blackmail when he’s in trouble. He makes his big, blue eyes as huge and round as possible and trembles out a “Can I have a hug first? You know, before I go to time out for burning down the garage?” The Nibbit is THAT good. So yeah, sometimes the hug is rejected. Sue me.

Family Resolution #4: Eating less sugar (me) and eating more fruits and vegetables (you). The Nibbit is pretty good about eating healthy foods and Happy Dude will eat any fruit or vegetable as long as its puréed and comes in one of those pouches. The Loud One? Not so much. Apple slices and string beans (and sometimes strawberries, but only if they are perfectly sweet and ripe which lasts about one hour of one day) and that’s it. Which makes lunchbox-packing a bit of a challenge. So, how about if I eat less M&Ms and you give citrus fruits a try? Cool?

Can we agree to try ONE of these foods this year?

Family Resolution #5: Let’s all sleep more! Here’s the deal: you promise to not wake me up at 5:30am and I promise to not yell at you at 5:30am. This seems very fair to me. I swear that I will never wake YOU up and scream things like, “GO BACK TO BED OR YOU WILL BE IN BIG TROUBLE.” But when you wake ME up in those wee hours? All bets are off. I am simply not responsible for anything I say. Especially when suffering from a hangover. I am not myself. I should have taken the Milk thistle.

Family Resolution #6: Be kind. We’ve talked about this guys; it’s always a work in progress. But I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, kindness is the most important thing. How about if you invite the new kid to play Adopt-a-Puppy with you at recess or share your favorite excavator with a friend and I won’t snap at Daddy when I’m stressing out and he asks me how he can help. I know! I do that! It’s terrible!! But don’t judge; I’m working on it and that’s what these resolutions are for.

OK buds, to sum it all up, each of you is fantastic but we, as people, can always be better. I think we’re on the right track here. If we can keep our goals in mind and stay motivated, 2013 will be the BEST. YEAR. EVER. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t lose.

Love you to the Moon and to Florida and to Outer Space and to the Jersey Shore and back.

xoxo,
Mom