Tag Archives: Happy Dude

The More the Merrier… and Noisier

Standard

I have several friends who are considering having a third baby and I have recently had conversations with them about what it’s like to have three. Of course, I’m all “Hey, why don’t you read my blog and you’ll know EXACTLY what it’s like! You’ll also never have unprotected sex again!”

I always wanted three kids. I grew up with three kids and don’t we always gravitate toward the familiar? I also wanted a boy first and then two girls, also just like my family, but guess what? O FOR 3. (You can read more about that here) But as I tell my kids, “You get what you get and you don’t get… to freak out about it, because if you do, you won’t get anything at all except a trip to the staircase where you’ll languish for minutes missing out on valuable fun playtime over here in the family room!” (I totally say that every morning when I’m doling out gummy candy vitamins.)

ANYWAY, three was always my magic number. And thankfully, KJ was on board with that because otherwise we wouldn’t have Happy Dude. And Happy Dude almost always looks like this:

Free cheese in the grocery store makes me giddy.

Maybe it’s because Happy Dude has always been so easy, but I FIRMLY believe that the biggest change regarding kids was not having the second or third, but rather going from NONE to ONE. Think about it… you have that first baby and your world is ROCKED. And not in the good way.

It’s true that when you go from one to two you can’t say “You take the baby, I’m taking a nap” as much as you used to. And when you add the third, you are in fact “outnumbered,” but I’m sorry, that first little, tiny, screaming human being you bring into this world is the one that makes ALL the difference.

He or she is the one that changes you from a free-spirited, easy-going, fun couple to neurotic, responsible, boring, tired, often-cranky PARENTS. All subsequent babies just make you a little more cranky and a lot more tired.

A friend once said to me, “It must be nice to have your third and totally know what you’re doing.” I laughed. Loudly. And then said, “You never know exactly what you’re doing. You just know enough not to care as much.” (Forgive me if I’ve already shared that story, but I’m old and my memory is going… and I haven’t figured out how to take advantage of “tags” yet.)

So, given all of this, I present to you my thoughts on adding additional kids to your household. In table form. Because tables are nice and organized and I’m into that.

 

AFTER 1ST BABY

AFTER 2ND BABY

AFTER 3RD BABY

Birth

HOLY SHIT, that hurt like hell!!

I am NEVER doing
that again!!

HOLY SHIT, that hurt like hell!

I am never doing
that again!!

This time I mean it!

HOLY SHIT, that hurt like hell!!

I am NEVER doing
that again!!

Honey, it’s time to
take surgical precautions.

The hospital stay

Oh, I want the baby
in the room with me
at all times!

I can’t wait to
take her home!

Maybe I’ll just let the baby stay in the nursery during the night.

Oh, I’m only here for two days?

Bring me the baby ONLY when he needs to eat.

PLEASE don’t make
me go home…
just one
more night?!?!

Bringing the baby home

Oh, she’s crying…is she hungry?

I just fed her…

I better feed her again.

Oh, he’s crying… give him a few minutes.

OK, I guess we’ll feed him.

Has anyone fed the baby today?

Diapers

She just peed!
We have to change her quick!

He just pooped… your turn to change him.

Has anyone changed the baby’s diaper today?

Free time

Daddy takes the
baby out.

Mommy takes a nap.

Daddy takes the toddler out.

Mommy tries to nap while the baby cries.

HAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHA

Sibling reaction

N/A

Make it stop crying! He’s too noisy!
Is he staying??
Play with ME!!
I hate my brother!!

Oh, there’s another baby.

Can I have a cookie?

# of calls to the Pediatrician

Twice daily

Every other week

Never.

It’s just a rash.

He’ll be fine.

Shopping

We have to buy all new cute clothes and have everything cleaned, ironed and folded in the drawers waiting for her arrival!

We have to
go through the hand-me-downs and see what we can use
and what we need
to replace.

Stained?
Ripped?
Two sizes too big?
It’s fine.

Toys

New, shiny, colorful, educational

Slightly beaten up, plastic

Whatever’s left.
And cardboard boxes.

Grocery List

Formula, diapers, dinner food for
grown-ups

Formula, diapers, chicken nuggets, Puffs (a LOT of Puffs)…
Oh and some food for the grown-ups

Formula, diapers, chicken nuggets, Mac & Cheese, more Puffs
…and tequila

So there you have it. I say, have the third! You’re screwed in “Parent Mode” anyway, so what’s a little more noise? And poop? And Puffs?

The Baby

Standard

You’ll be happy to know that I’m down to my last kid. You’re all, “Enough of the introductions already!” Well, this will be [fairly] short and [mostly] sweet. Kind of like him.

Seriously, this baby has been nothing but joy since Day One.

Although Day One didn’t arrive quite as smoothly as I would have liked. I had a scheduled c-section and still managed to screw it up by contracting a vicious stomach flu two days before my surgery date.

Please take a moment and try to imagine having the stomach flu – and all the glory that comes with it – while NINE MONTHS PREGNANT. Hello? (Thank you fellow moms… I can hear you groaning from here.) It was not easy. It was not fun. And it was most definitely NOT pretty.

So instead of checking into the hospital and getting a baby, I checked into the hospital and got an IV drip to treat my dehydration… for three days in a row. AWESOMESAUCE. I also got a, “So sorry we have to postpone the birth of your child, but since you can’t stop vomiting long enough to tell us your name, we think it’s best we wait… um, Jane Doe.”

Side note: If you’re eating dinner, don’t read this. (Sorry, was that too late?)

But it all worked out the way it was supposed to because this kid was lucky from [his] Day 1: he ended up being born on 11/1 at 11:11am. Crazy, right? And much cooler than 10/28 at 11:11am which would have been BOR-ING.

ANYWAY, once he finally arrived, he was super-easy. He slept through the night at like three weeks old. Ate easily. Ate often. Ate whatever we put in front of him. He smiled early and all the time. And he was perfectly content to just be around his big brother and sister.

And I can honestly say, that he has stayed super easy… he still sleeps straight through approximately 13 hours a night. He still eats easily, often and MOSTLY whatever we put in front of him (although he’s pretty partial to foods that aren’t healthy… isn’t the whole genetics thing CRAZY?). And he’s still perfectly content to just be around play Wrestle Baby with his big brother and sister.

He was a bit late hitting those early milestones, but I was NOT complaining. I had a smiling eight-month old that would sit happily and not move. Who the hell cared that the experts said he was supposed to be rolling, sitting, crawling and basically driving by then… I was busy enough with the Loud One and the Nibbit. His immobility was a relief.

That’s all in the past anyway. Now he’s a little crazy man who is constantly on the go and always wants to be outside. He loves to bring us his shoes and drag us by hand to the front door. (Subtlety –> not his strong point.)

He has very strong opinions now and although he can’t really express them with words, he manages to make himself VERY clear. He can be very serious around strangers, but if you can spare a treat, you’ll have a friend for life. (Just ask my neighbor… she’s currently in the process of buying his affection with daily Popsicles.)

Mostly, he’s still all smiles.

So it is with that introduction, that I christen my baby with the blog name, Happy Dude. (I know, it’s not the most creative name. Or the funniest. But it suits him. And it feels good to be positive for once. So shut up.)

And now that I’ve written all of this, I feel 100% certain that tomorrow morning, he will wake up spewing fire and using his cuteness for evil instead of good. He will probably stop sleeping and start screaming “NO!” every other minute.

But for now, I’m happy to say that after almost seventeen months, I’m pretty sure we made the right choice having that third kid.

You can judge for yourself…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(If you’re reading this on your phone … you’ve missed out on all the cute photos. So get back to your computer and log onto the real site. You’ll also be impressed by my pretty masthead.)

And there you have them:  The Loud One, Happy Dude & the Nibbit. Welcome to my family.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS. This was not short at all. Sorry.