At least four people have asked me how The Nibbit did at soccer this week. (That’s really true. I’m not just writing that as a fake way to introduce this post.) And as I started to write a Soccer Update, I thought you might like an update on some of the other things I’ve discussed this past year.
I debated waiting until December to do this as a nice end-of-the-year round-up, but I have never been one for delayed gratification. So you’re getting it now.
- The Nibbit had a MUCH better experience at soccer this week. Amanda brought him (at his request), armed with a post-soccer snack and lots of encouragement. He still didn’t love all the drills – he’s particularly unfond (is that a word? it should be) of the jumping in and out of the rope ladder thingy. But we’ve got progress! He played in the mini-game and scored two goals. I think all the positive feedback he received for that should carry him through next week as well. Feed the ego… that’s my strategy.
- Happy Dude is loving school. They have trucks there. Enough said. Neither of us cried on the first day.
- Ben Folds was great. I did NOT receive 30 comments on that post, so there will be no scrunchie photos for you but TRUST ME, I rocked it.
- Bic has NOT contacted me about becoming the next National Spokesperson for their “Pens for Her” line. WTF? Not even one Goddamn free sample?
- Squeaky and Pip are doing well THRIVING and The Loud One still loves them. They are still terrified of us. (Wait, maybe they’re not thriving. Well, they’re growing really fast.) Anybody have any idea when they’ll warm up and leap into her arms? I’m afraid she’ll lose interest in them if they don’t start really liking her back soon.
- We had to bring them to the vet to get their nails trimmed this week because my attempt to do it myself was, um, shall we say UNSUCCESSFUL. Two pet pedicures (yes! they are really called that!) and $40 later, we can hold Squeaky and Pip without looking like we got into a catfight with a drunk girl.
- Here’s what I’ve learned about guinea pigs: they POOP A LOT. That is all.
- Despite what you may be thinking, I have not been fired from the EW.com gig (I don’t think). I’ve written a bunch of columns, but they just haven’t been posted yet. I’m not sure that’s a good sign, but I’ll let you know if/when I get the “this just isn’t working out the way we hoped it would” speech.
- I am not watching “Here Comes Honey Boo Boo” on a regular basis… are you?
- Mr. Nobody is still a little shit.
- I’m thrilled to say that I’ve noticed less “Just waits… ” happening around me. I don’t dare think my blog has any kind of influence, so I’m going to call it a happy coincidence and just be glad. If you are someone who has decreased your own usage of “Just waits,” WELL DONE!
- My bag is still a disaster. A quick list of what’s in there right now: Peppermint hand sanitizer; two pairs of dirty kids’ socks from God knows when; an Epi-pen (I’ve finally decided to be more responsible about my kids’ allergies); one Matchbox car; three packs of gum; three gum wrappers; one straw; one used tissue (I’m pretty sure that used tissue makes me an OFFICIAL member of the Mom’s Club, right? That and the gum and the Matchbox car?); one packet of Teddy Grahams; one chip clip (in case we don’t finish the snack-size packet of Teddy Grahams?); a billion receipts from outlet shopping earlier in the week; one old grocery list; one Back to School Night program; all the same lollipops; markers and animal figures that were there last time and a tube of Tylenol. Oh and one giant Tupperware on top.
- The Loud One isn’t writing as many books as she used to. I am REALLY, REALLY SAD about this. But she is reading a lot more so that’s a fair exchange. And guess what else she still loves? PRETENDING SHE’S A PUPPY. Seems that might never get old. Awesome.
- I have not gotten a publishing offer for my book about pregnancy yet. I’m not sure why. I feel like women need to know the truth even if it is extraordinarily depressing. Am I wrong?