Tag Archives: gossip

Ripped from the [Us Weekly] Headlines

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I undertook a daunting task today. I cleaned out my bag. It took a long time. I’m not sure how it ever got to this state as I’m usually a compulsive freak fairly-organized person. But just for kicks, and because I’ll probably  never be featured in the real Us Weekly, I thought I’d do a little segment called…

What’s In My Bag?

Here’s my list, with some photos below, but without the uber-expensive designer make-up.

  • One Whole Foods receipt (guess how much it was for and I’ll give you a prize hug round of applause)
  • Two tubes of Blistex Silk & Shine lip balm. Ooh yeah, baby.
  • One Kindergarten class list (has this been in my bag since September?)
  • One application for summer camp… due on March 14th
  • One Target receipt (guess how much it’s for and I’ll give you the Whole Foods receipt)
  • A bookmark that reads, “The dog is everybody’s friend.”  This one is especially odd because first of all, there is no book and second of all, I don’t really like dogs.
  • Two small Starbucks straws. (Fun fact about me! I ONLY like the small SBs straws. Even with a Venti drink, I still need a small straw. I keep a few extra on hand because it seems hard for some people to remember this fun fact about me. But NOT my husband. Nope, not talking about him.)
  • One Husky, one tiger and one sparkly, shiny gold and green stuffed frog
  • Three lollipops (two DumDum, one Tootsie)
  • One Splenda (don’t use this artificial crap… it’ll kill you, ya know)
  • One roll of Scotch tape. No dispenser. Just the roll.
  • Seven pens. Seven. Because you never know when six might run out of ink.
  • Six Magic Markers. Because you never know when that seventh pen might run out of ink. And you absolutely need to be able to draw at the diner.
  • One travel size baby powder. Great for getting sand off of wet feet. (And as substitute deodorant. Not that I’ve tried that.)
  • A grocery list on which the only items are “Pickles (spears and chips), granola, ricotta cheese” (Bon Appetit!)
  • One snack bag of semi-crushed Christmas M&Ms. (I’ve actually noticed these in there a few times, but I keep putting them back in… who can part with a bag of M&Ms?)
  • Three hair barrettes and two elastics. (Yet, I can never find one when I need one)
  • Ear mitts (you’ll see)
  • One receipt from Hands on Pottery for two ceramic puppies (Loud One) and one plate (me)
  • Two dried-up baby wipes. Clean, I hope.
  • Two pairs of junky sunglasses because my good ones are missing. Happy Dude loves to try them on. And eat them.
  • Two flower and three Diego stickers from the dentist. “Hola Baby Jaguar!” 
  • One checkbook… with no checks
  • A whole boatload of crumpled tissues. Clean, I hope.
  • Ooooh! I just found my good sunglasses… right next to the nail file. Fantastic.
  • One crushed free-sample cup from the grocery store
  • An unopened tube of hand-sanitizer. (I don’t want my kids becoming immune to that Super Germ. Or whatever.)
  • One red train (Percy?)
  • One mysterious yellow-and-black plastic thing
  • And this:

 

 

 

 

 

I’m sorry, I promise this is usually a family-friendly website.

I wasn't kidding about the sparkly frog.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

See? Ear mitts

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Is it just me or does this photo make you want to scrapbook?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Identify Yourself, Mysterious Yellow-and-Black Thing!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Free refills?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Still look delicious to me!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PPS. This was fun. Next week, I may do a “Krissy Mac: She’s Just Like Us!” segment and show you pictures of me taking out the garbage.

PS. *Real* post coming tomorrow morning. I know you’re PSYCHED.

It’s Time to Dish.

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First of all, thank you guys so much for all the love this first week… the comments here, the emails, the Facebook posts, the unmarked mail that has all the letters cut out of magazines that says “Stop blogging or else.” (I’m pretty sure my daughter did that.) As they say, I’m only as good as… you say I am. So please keep saying it. No, seriously, I’m only as good as my material, so thank GOD for kids that hate underwear, am I right?

But here’s the thing. Before I had the life I have now… with a family I adore (blech) and a respectable job as a stay-at-home-mom (ahem), I had another passionate love. And that, my friends, was Celebrity Gossip.

So let’s be honest here for a minute. You love the parenting stuff, the Crazy Eyes; I know the “stretch my underwear” got a good laugh, but really most of you were thinking… “Where is the DISH? The Krissy Mac I USED to know would not let a week go by without commenting on how Stacy Kiebler is the Luckiest. Woman. Alive.” Well, don’t worry. It’s time. RIGHT HERE. RIGHT NOW.

I’m happy to present the first ever “Who Needs A Nap? Me. But Not Until After We Recap What’s Happening Now in Pop Culture*” post!

*By pop culture I mean the following: what I read in Us Weekly or Entertainment Weekly; what I see on People.com or other various non-reputable Internet entertainment sites (wait, that sounded dirty); stories on Access Hollywood or that other show; and miscellaneous books, movies or music that I like. Oh and my imagination. I sometimes make stuff up.)

Here we go…

Did you all see the pictures of Beyonce’s birthing suite?? It’s nicer than my first apartment in NYC  all of my apartments in NYC current house! Nothing but the best for little Blue Ivy (this applies to everything other than NAMES, that is).

Brangelina visited the White House this week. They say Angie’s promoting the movie she just made, but I’m pretty sure they were there to discuss adopting Sasha and Malia.

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel are engaged. C’mon. Does she HONESTLY think that he’s not going to cheat on her? Ever? With Britney Spears? I mean, I love him but in the Cliff, Shag or Marry game, let’s just say, I’m not picking Marry. I feel like arranging a lunch between Jessica Biel and Demi Moore. And Sandra Bullock. (Agents! Do this! Save her!)

Did anyone watch the People’s Choice Awards the other night? At first, I was feeling pretty old, not knowing who most of the hot, young chicks were that were introducing stuff that I’ve never heard of. But then… the People’s Choice for Favorite Comedy was announced and it was “Hot in Cleveland.” Huh? Who exactly are the People who Chose this? Because I’d like to introduce them to a little lady named TINA FEY. (No disrespect intended, Betty White. You’re AWESOME. Loved you in Titanic.)

Hey, Lil Wayne’s going to release a prison memoir. Um, who’s NOT going to read this?

OK, I’ll openly admit that I like Gwyneth Paltrow. I’ll slightly-more-sheepishly admit that I subscribe to her Goop newsletter. (You know the one where she talks about fabulous linen stores in Tokyo and how to roast a duck with only three servants helping?) Well, in this week’s newsletter, she’s listing some kid-friendly, healthy meals. I got excited thinking she’d have a new take on chicken nuggets using corn flakes instead of bad stuff, but NO. She busts out … get this… “Baked Salmon, Cauliflower & Capers” and “Nori Hand Rolls.” I’m sorry, but what? Each of these include at least two ingredients that I’ve never heard of and neither of them include “mac” or “cheese.” BUT you’ll be happy to know that for the Nori Hand Rolls, the MUNG is optional. PHEW.

Sad news about Katy Perry and Russell Brand divorcing, huh? I know, personally, I was SHOCKED. I mean, they just seem so normal and down-to-Earth, ya know? Apparently, he is a the Mayor of Crazytown. Which is ironic, I would have pegged the one with bluepinkpurple hair and fire shooting out of her boobs as the nut job.

Bradley Cooper is dating Zoe Saldana now. You know the blue chick from that movie with the magic tree? You know, for a SUPERHOT guy, he makes some interesting choices… Zoe’s cute, but Renee Zellwegger? JLo? Someone give that guy a MIRROR.

Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudekis are also dating. (Anyone care?)

Lastly, I know some of you are wondering where I stand on a certain timely, divisive issue. So I’m going to clarify here and now and get it over with. I am thoroughly and completely … Konfused by the Kardashians. I mean, on one hand, ew. On the other hand… actually, just ew. I’ve heard that there’s a rumor that maybe Khloe isn’t really a Kardashian. That’s awful. I mean, what if her real Dad’s name didn’t start with a K? That would be DEVASTATING because then her name would have to be Hloe. I also heard about a recent Tweet of Khloe’s involving her looking forward to a “late night cuddle session” with her husband.

People, I’m going to say this once. If I EVER Tweet that I’m looking forward to a “late night cuddle session with my husband,” assume that I’ve been abducted by aliens and demolish my body.

There’s a lot more to cover, people, but I gotta go. I have to go cook some mung.

Mmmmmm... mung

That’s all. Bye.

PS. If you want to be sure that you don’t miss a single post about kids, chaos or margs… or celeb gossip, please “follow” me using the link on the right hand side of this page. You’ll get an email everytime there’s a new post. OR you can be my friend on Facebook and I’ll keep you updated that way. Or I’ll come to your house at night, ring your doorbell and let you know. Whichever method you prefer.