Updated January 2018! See my 2018 edits in bold.
If you’re new here, welcome. It took you long enough. Kidding. Pour yourself a cup of coffee or any beverage of your choice (we don’t judge here, so if it’s a martini you need to make it through the morning, go for it… plus, alcohol makes me funnier!) and hang out for a while.
If you’re coming back to read this page for the 52nd time, you’re kind of stalking me… AND I LOVE IT!
Here’s some stuff to know about me. I tried to come up with 100 (because I know you have all the time in the world and want to spend it reading about me) but I could only come up with 37. They’re mostly true.
- I’ve been married for a bunch of years and we own three kids: girl (age 11), boy (almost 9), boy (age 7). I really wanted a second girl, so my daughter could have a sister, but unfortunately for her, that shop is closed. Like boarded up, went out of business, sold everything at half price, permanently CLOSED. (Editing this in 2018. I’m almost 46 and all I have to say about this one is… DUH.)
- On this blog, I refer to my kids as The Loud One (self-explanatory… the girl’s lack of volume control is insane); the Nibbit (origin: calling him Nothing But Trouble -> NBT -> Nibbit); and Happy Dude (because he was such a chill baby… but now this name should really be amended to Happy Dude Except for the Hours Between Midnight and 5:00am). 2018: These names could definitely use some updating BUT I’ll leave them as is for nostalgic reasons.
- The state of our house could easily be described as completely uncontrolled chaos at any given time. There are usually at least two people crying and one of them is usually me. But we also have a lot of fun. And dance parties. 2018: SAME.
- I have a big, blended, wonderful family, both immediate and extended. We spend so much time together that people that don’t know us well think it’s a bit strange and possibly a bit creepy. People that do know us well think it’s strange and possibly a bit creepy, as well. 2018: SAME.
- I LOVE Starbucks. I love it enough to warrant #5 on this list. I’m there everyday, sometimes twice a day. I love everything about it except that odd Trenta size. Trenta’s weird. You can read more about my love for SBs right HERE. 2018: I’m down to an every-other-day habit but I still love it.
- It annoys me when people don’t use the proper sizing terminology in Starbucks. Oh, you’re TOO COOL to say Grande? Or Venti? Just go to Dunkin’ Donuts then, buddy. 2018: SAME.
- I lost my Mom to cancer years ago and still miss her on an hourly basis. I usually think of her when I need my pants hemmed or information on whether cooking wine is the same as white wine vinegar. (Is it?) I talk about her a lot around here. I hope that doesn’t bum you out. 2018: SAME.
- I LOVE lists. (I know I already mentioned that, but it bears repeating. I love lists that much. I also love blank notebooks, lined and unlined, Post-It notes (all sizes) and felt tip markers. 2018: SAME.
- I’m a pretty good doodler. Like if they had a reality TV show called, So You Think You Can Doodle, I would totally win. 2018: SAME.
- I dislike reality TV. Except for Top Chef, Project Runway, The Voice and So You Think You Can Dance. Other than that, reality TV blows. 2018: Now that our government runs like a reality TV show, I mainly watch CNN.
- I am a HUGE fan of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. How? HOW?? I don’t need to understand it to appreciate its magnificence. 2018: Still love it. Still baffled.
- My sister and I talk on the phone about six times a day. If it’s only five times, one of us will inevitably follow up the next morning with, “Why didn’t you call me back last night??” 2018: SAME only substitute “talk” with “text”
- I like to sew, but don’t really know how. I made a quilt once. So then I thought I was a hotshot and got a fancy sewing machine for Christmas and bought a bunch of books and fabric and… nothing. But I did make this cool tooth fairy pillow. 2018: SAME. Like I haven’t really sewed anything in years but still think I like it. I have crocheted a few cool blankets though. OK, two. Two blankets.
- My husband and I dated way back when we were in our early twenties. It was a completely different relationship than the one we have now. We were more mature back then. And we were getting WAY more sleep. 2018: We sleep a lot more now than we did in 2011. But maturity level is still pretty low.
- My favorite part of the day is when my kids run into our room in the morning and give me big hugs. RIIIIIIGHT. Like my favorite part of any day would ever be at 6:00am?? I don’t think so. It’s really when they hug me goodnight right before bed. Actually, it’s when they’re asleep. I could take or leave the hug. 2018: Still neutral on hugs. Nib’s still waking at 6:00am. HD greets each day between 6:30-7:00am and LO now has to be dragged out of bed for school each morning. I smell the teenage years…
- My favorite movies are Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original, OF COURSE; I’ve never watched the stupid Johnny Depp version) and Mary Poppins. I also really like Armageddon and the awesomely cheesy Aerosmith song that goes with it. And all J.Lo movies, obviously. Don’t judge. 2018: Feeling very nervous about the remake (or sequel or whatever it is) of Mary Poppins that’s coming out soon. I like Emily Blunt so I MAY give it a shot, but I’m not optimistic.
- I don’t like suspense of ANY kind (I watch most TV and movies with my hands covering my eyes), so KJ and I can rarely agree on a movie to see. Sometimes we go to the theater together and see two separate movies. Win win. 2018: SAME.
- I don’t like to cook but I have three dependents that require feeding at least three times a day, so I’m forced to do some type of meal preparation everyday. I’m getting a little bit better I think; I can now make pasta six different ways. 2018: SO MUCH SAME. The “needing three meals a day” thing is SO annoying to me.
- I do not like hot dogs. I WANT to, but I don’t. Ditto for rice pudding. 2018: Sadly, SAME.
- I’m a terrible flyer. And by “terrible,” I mean “100% confident that my plane is destined to crash and burn every single time I fly. And at the sign of the slightest turbulence, I start to cry. A lot.” Bet you want to travel with me now, huh? 2018: I MEDICATE HEAVILY NOW AND IT HAS BEEN LIFE-CHANGING. Three cheers for Xanax!
- I sort of think that I would be an awesome sky diver because I hate flying so much. I’d be so happy to jump out of the plane… no? 2018: Not sure what I was thinking here. I will never sky dive. Ever.
- I drive a minivan and I LOVE it. For real, honest. I wanted a minivan before we had kids, but waited for THREE of them to get one. 2018: Still driving the same minivan so while I still love Mikey (yes), I’m almost ready to move on.
- I lived in Greenwich Village for several years before moving to the suburbs. I love my house, but I miss our old apartment there. I am determined to get it back someday. So if you live in my old apartment in The Brevoort, consider yourself warned. Mwah hahaha! 2018: Oh yes. Still same.
- I have tried drugs. (For the aforementioned flying issue, of course.)
- I used to write a weekly celebrity gossip column for the New York Daily News, mocking all the stories in the weekly gossip magazines. It was silly and fun and they paid me to do it. I stopped writing it when Heath Ledger overdosed and that story was on the cover of every single gossip magazine. I couldn’t think of any jokes about that. 2018: Still true although those days seem like a long time ago now.
- I’m not as addicted to Us Weekly as I used to be, because once it became my “job” to read it, much of the pleasure disappeared. OK, that’s actually a total lie. I still love Us Weekly. But I’ve matured a bit, so now my true periodical love is… Entertainment Weekly. 2018: See #10. It’s all CNN and Twitter these days.
- I am not a fan of high heels or couture. I don’t even know how to pronounce couture. I wear mostly yoga pants. From Old Navy. And dark jeans when it’s dress-up time. 2018: SAME.
- I once wrote an article for Cosmopolitan magazine. They basically rewrote the whole thing and it was awful. I didn’t tell anyone when it came out because I was embarrassed by the way it sounded. Then I got the paycheck and I forgave them. 2018: Does Cosmo still exist?
- I used to sell toys on QVC. I made over 20 appearances and would always tell my family and friends AFTER the fact so they couldn’t watch me. I wore more make-up for those appearances than I did at my own wedding. 2018: Hahahaha… this is so true. Sooo much make-up.
- I went on tour with Phish for ten days when I was 22. Duuuuude, it rocked. 2018: Yeah, younger, cooler self!
- I still feel like a 22-year old just back from Phish tour. Duuuuude, I’m not. 2018: Hmmm… not really feeling like a 22-year old now. You know, the aching hip, bad shoulder, eyesight going… SAD!
- I became an Ordained Minister in California for one day – May 31st 2008 – in order to officiate the wedding of my friends Jen and Jeff. It was so much fun and one of the biggest honors of my life. 2018: Still true.
- I really, really want to write a book but I have no idea what to write about. Or how to write a book. 2018: I WROTE A BOOK!
- My primary reason for going to graduate school was so that I’d have a good reason to live in Boulder, CO for another two years. Boulder is my absolute favorite place in the US. I don’t live there because my whole entire family lives in the tri-state area but as soon as everyone is willing to move with me, I’m ready to go back. 2018: I would still like to visit but I’m pretty happy where I am now. Plus, the whole flying thing.
- I’m a born and bred Jersey Girl. Bruce. Jovi. AquaNet. Represent. 2018: SAME.
- My laminated card (you know the one) lists Bradley Cooper, Ryan Reynolds and George Clooney. Although it’s possible that Justin Timberlake has bumped Clooney off. Yeah, I know I’m over 40, shut up. Oh and I have girl crush on Keri Russell. 2018: Hmmm… this is an interesting one… I have to give this some thought. NOT into Justin Timberlake anymore. Still like Bradley, Ryan and George but I may have to reevaluate. I’ll get back to you on this.
- My favorite food used to Peanut Butter M&Ms, but now it’s Cadbury Mini Eggs. Not just my favorite CANDY, but my all-time favorite FOOD. You haven’t tried them, have you? Trust me. And my favorite beverages are coffee in the morning and Margaritas. Anytime. 2018: Mmmmmm, Cadbury Mini Eggs. If I had a dime for every Cadbury Mini Egg I’ve eaten since I originally wrote this, I’d be VERY rich.
So now you know me.
Who are you? Please share. I love comments as long as they’re not rude, insulting or critical of me in anyway.