KJ and I are not big anniversary people. I have a little bit of a mental block about whether it falls on July 15th or 16th and the only way KJ can remember it is by removing his wedding ring and squinting at the date engraved on the inside.
We’re actually celebrating our 12th anniversary today by doing our favorite thing. Well, things. He’s playing golf and I’m staying home to write and read in the hammock. Happy Anniversary!
But we did have a date last night and get this – we went to the movie theater and SAW THE SAME MOVIE. That’s happened approximately five times over the course of our twelve-year marriage because we can rarely agree on which movie to see. KJ likes action, suspense, car chases and shooting. I like to laugh. So in the past twelve years, just about the only movies we could agree to see together were the first Jason Bourne movie and the entire Ocean’s Eleven franchise.
Oddly, we also saw that Julia Louis-Dreyfus/James Gandolfini movie, “Enough Said.” I’m sure the only reason KJ agreed to see that one was because he misunderstood “James Gandolfini” to mean “Tony Soprano” and when he realized it was essentially a romantic comedy, he spent the whole movie groaning and talking about poking his eyeballs out with his soda straw. That was fun!
Anyway, feeling nostalgic this morning, I started looking at our wedding album. So many happy memories, but really I had two main thoughts:
- DAMN it was hot in that church.
- THAT was a super fun party.
For those close friends who weren’t at my wedding, here are some pictures to help you feel like you were there.
Twelve years is a long time, but not really. Neither of us has changed all that much. KJ still loves beer and golf and drinking beer during golf and he still loves the Yankees and the Jets and drinking beer at Yankees and Jets games. I still like margaritas.
We still disagree on when to leave for the airport but thanks to a deal we made a couple of years into our marriage,* it’s no longer up for debate.
He still likes to save money and I still like to spend it.
He still eats foods in weird combinations and mixes everything together on his plate and I still cringe when he does it.
We both still like seeing live music but admittedly he’s way more motivated about it.
We’re still bringing our specific skill sets to the family table. He’s practical, reliable and active. I’m creative, organized and lazy (yes, that’s a skill… do you think just anyone can stay on the couch in pajamas all day as often as I do?)
He has more rules for the kids, but I definitely yell more. Depending on the day, either one of us could be “the fun one.”
Lastly, and maybe most importantly for today, we’re both fine with the fact that we don’t really make a big deal about anniversaries.
Still, Happy 12th KJ.
*Shortly after we got married, I realized that our arguments about when to leave for dinners, parties, appointments and mostly, flights were going to eventually land us in a marriage counselor’s – if not divorce lawyer’s – office. (Of course, I would be 10-15 minutes early for that appointment and KJ would be an “acceptable” five minutes late.)
I proposed the following deal:
I get to pick the departure time for any event – meal, party, wedding, etc. – that has to do with my family and friends. He decides when we leave for his family’s and friends’ events. He also gets to choose our departure time for any “neutral” event – mutual friends, our own dinner dates, etc. WITH ONE EXCEPTION: flights. I always get to decide when we leave for the airport.
We still use this contract today.