Gratitude Lite 2015

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OK, so let’s just get this out of the way. True, you haven’t heard from me since – wait, let me go check the date of my last post – woah, August 28th? That’s a crazy long time ago. And it was a Back-to-School post? Yikes.

So here are my excuses, in no particular order:

1. I’m lazy.

It’s true. I’m so lazy that I’ve stopped working out entirely despite the fact that workouts are the hot water cooler topics where I live. I bump into friends at the grocery store and I’m all, “Did you see Homeland?” and they’re all, “No, I was working out.” And I’m all, “But it’s on Sundays at 9:00pm?” and they’re all “Yeah… and?” And I’m all, “But you can watch it whenever On Demand!” and they’re all “Yeah, I’m ALWAYS working out.”

There’s spinning of course and CrossFit, but there’s like a whole language of workouts out there that I don’t speak: terms like, SUP and CST 50 and Barre and Corelates and Deep Water Running (WTF? Do people have gills now?)… the list goes on and on and on…

I actually have several close friends whose work clothes are ACTUALLY workout clothes. As in, fitness is their career. Do you know what it’s like to be friends with people who WORK OUT for a living? It sucks. Because they’re all like, “I taught four cardio classes today, but then I took it easy and only did Pilates in my spare time.” And I’m all, “I ate ALL of the Cadbury Eggs.”

Whatever.

Moving on.

2.

OK, so it turns out the laziness is really the only reason I haven’t posted since August. I would love to say that things have been SO crazy for the past few months and I simply haven’t had the time… but that would be a lie.

I could tell you that my kids are just really normal and boring now, so I don’t have any material but that whopper would get me immediately struck by lightning.

So lazy, it is.

But today is a new day! I’m motivated by the hints of holidays in the air and the crazy-ass long lines at the grocery store where EVERY single person was buying French’s fried onions.

I thought I would carry on a timeless (OK, three-year old) WNAN? tradition and fill you in on some of the things I’m thankful for this year. Aside from the obvious – family, friends, Starbucks – these are the things bringing me joy these days.

1. Acupuncture.

Wait. Can I count this as a workout? It’s good for my health, improves circulation AND I feel great when I walk out of the gym office. IT COUNTS!

2a. Books. And to be more specific, Barnes & Noble.

Look, I know it’s more PC to shop Mom & Pop and more environmentally- (and budget-) friendly to go to the library but I’m sorry, I love B&N. Here are all the things I like to do at B&N (sub-list alert!):

  • Touch all the covers and imagine what cover texture I would choose if I wrote a book… Glossy? Matte? Metallic?
  • Read the inside flaps
  • Look at all the journals and pens and mini book lights
  • Read all the magazines
  • Starbucks. Duh.
  • Take pictures of the books that I want to buy for my Kindle. (Shhh!)
  • Kids’ section (sub-sub-list alert):
    • Sit on the stage and perform The Day the Crayons Quit (except that we like to change the words and call it The Day the Crayons Bit. It’s just a little thing we do. People love it. Well, the Nib loves it.).
    • Pick out all the age-inappropriate books that I want to read under the guise of “they’re for my daughter.”
    • Skim some of the “Who Was [insert historical figure]?” Kate Boehm Jerome books to improve my knowledge of history.
  • Flip through all of the Adult Coloring books before reminding myself that I already have so many. #EmbarrassedNotEmbarrassed

And last, but not least…

  • BUY ALL OF THE BOOKS.

2b. Reading.

You’d think this would be the same as “Books,” but you’d be wrong. Because I don’t actually read all of the books. I read MOST of the books but some don’t look as good when I get home so they get stacked in the “To Be Read [but probably not really]” pile. Which is very different than the “To Be Read [soon!]” pile and the “To Be Read [but not urgently]” pile.

And it’s not just books… it’s magazines, parenting blogs, the odd news article, and of course, HuffPost Good News.

I love reading. Most of my procrastination happens so that I can read. Why would I write when so many other people have already written so much good stuff?

3. Whole Foods Breakfast Bars

These came into my life when I really needed them and have filled a previously enormous breakfast void. That’s all I’ll say about that.

4. All things Star Wars…

… specifically the Lego sets that keep HD busy for hours on end and these Star Wars light saber lollipops, which I put in my 5-year old’s birthday goody bag. TOTALLY appropriate.

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5. Jimmy Fallon, Bloodline and Adele’s new album

6. LO’s music teachers

… for tirelessly working with large groups of nine-year olds singing, playing their recorders and new this year, various stringed instruments. After listening to just one of these musicians practice and rehearse at home, I can’t possibly begin to imagine the JOY of listening to 40-75 of them at the same time. Bless you, Music Teachers.

7. Our troops and homeland security people.

Listen, the world is bat shit crazy right now and I’m often freaking out about it. I had the following text exchange with a trusted advisor the other day:

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I’m already a fairly anxious person who’s ALWAYS expecting bad news on the other end of the phone (which is why I don’t answer… just TEXT me, people) so the fact that we’re on the brink of World War III is terrifying.

But then I just remind myself that there are a LOT of people who are SOOOO much smarter and SOOOO much braver than I am doing a boatload of work to keep our country safe. I’m VERY grateful.

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I know it goes without saying, but I’m not really one to “go without saying” anything, so I’d like to add that I’m ALWAYS extremely grateful for my family and friends and the many, many blessings we’ve been given.

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And for anybody who’s missing a loved one this year, take a minute tomorrow morning to think of your best, funniest, happiest memories with him or her and smile. And then, do that everyday. It helps.

Happy Thanksgiving! I hope your holiday is warm and delicious and full of laughter and love and carbs. #StretchyPantsForever #ButNOTWorkoutPants

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PS. My friend, Smitty and I have decided to launch our new gym. Check out this week’s marketing promotion:

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6 responses »

  1. A few comments: I LOVE those “The Day The Crayons….” books…Have you read “The Day the Crayons Came Back?”…Peach crayon is my favorite.
    I thought I was the only person who thinks every phone call brings bad news….glad I am not alone.
    And where can I buy those light saber lollipops?
    Can I have a lifetime membership to your new gym?
    Happy Thanksgiving 🙂

  2. Welcome back.! I missed your funny stories. I love your comments to your friends, almost identical with mine. I am thankful for having a very beautiful, and awesome niece who I love and admire so much. Happy Thanksgiving!

  3. Glad you’re back! I am thankful for your posts! I see how your life with kids closely resembles mine. Your humor makes me stop screaming for one second, and realize that the best way to deal, is to stop and laugh! And for that… I am grateful! Hope you are having a very happy Thanksgiving weekend!!

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