20+ Questions (I mean… Answers)


Dear Kids,

I love you guys. I do. I really do. I really, really do.


You have GOT to STOP asking the SAME questions OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER… again.

From this point on, please refer to this list of answers when you feel compelled to utter one of your redundant inquiries.

The answers are all right here:

  • No, you may not get a turtle.
  • No, not even if you use your own money.
  • Yes, I DO actually think I am a “crazy head.”
  • No, I do NOT think I am a “crazy head monster mommy poopy pants.”
  • No, you may not have MORE ice cream or cookies.
  • Sure, you can sit on my lap.
  • No, you can’t wear shorts. Because, well, SNOW.
  • Yes, you can wear short-sleeves. Because, well, I’m tired of the saying no.
  • I am 43 years old.
  • I am still 43 years old.
  • Yes, I know how old you are.
  • Nope, you may not have a lizard either.
  • Nope, I am definitely not a huge fan of reptiles.
  • Yes, you have to take the bus today.
  • No, I don’t think a Furby Army would be cool. Because those noises are actually the official Worse Noises in the World.
  • Sure, we can have a dance party.
  • Sure, we can play Uptown Funk. Again.
  • No, I’m not sure what “… funk you up” means.
  • Yes, you have to taste everything on your plate.
  • Yes, even that gross stuff.
  • Yes, you can play on the computer.
  • Yes, you can watch the iPad.
  • Yes, you can play Wii.
  • No, you cannot have five more minutes of screen time. Because you already had a million minutes. 
  • Sure you can sit on my lap but no, I don’t need you to hold my book.
  • Yes, I do love Christmas.
  • No, it is not soon.
  • No, we cannot hang the Christmas Elves up today.
  • No, you don’t have a fever. Only your brother has a fever.
  • No, you don’t have a fever. Only your brother has a fever.
  • No, you can’t stay home from school with him.
  • No, I don’t think he’ll be too lonely without you.
  • No, I did not know that turtles are hypoallergenic.
  • Yes, I can spell that for you.
  • Yes, I will read you that book.
  • No, I will not carry you… everywhere.
  • Sure, you can sit on my lap, but no you may not type my emails for me.
  • Yes, my mom is in heaven.
  • No, I do not know what heaven looks like; I have never been there.
  • Yes, I imagine there are [insert awesome things here] in heaven.
  • Yes, I do miss my mom.
  • No, we can’t visit her and eat ice cream with her.
  • No, we can’t use birds to send her a message. But I love that idea.
  • Yes, I am still 43 years. Although <sigh> I feel a lot older sometimes.

Love you all to the moon and back a million times, or as Happy Dude says, “… the last number of times.” 


On second thought, he probably does get lonely without you.

On second thought, he probably does get lonely without you.

3 responses »

  1. Sweet…. Although, I typically just go with “are you just talking just to talk, because you know you asked me this already, and I cannot imagine that you do not know the answer by now, so unless you have a new question to ask me, please don’t ask it to me again!” I suppose it would be shorter to just answer their question for the 500th time…. or make my own list… love the list idea! I also got the idea from somewhere to just say, “asked and answered,” which I thought was genius (was that your blog??), but then there always seemed to be the follow up question of, “what does that mean?” AAAARRRGGHHHH!!!!!

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