The More You [Don’t] Know


Dear 16 Daily Visitors,

Thank you for checking in every day. I’m sorry the time between posts has grown longer and longer in recent weeks. I could say it’s because I’ve been soooo busy, but that would be a gigantic lie. Because trust me, I am finding PLENTY of time for Cadbury Mini Eggs and Facebook.

PSA: CME are now available in Dark Chocolate, which I kind of think is bullshit because it’s like they’re trying to make the candy “healthy” and all that, but those of you that fall for that kind of nonsense may enjoy them. (PS. I know who you are… you’re the same people who bought shelf loads of Snackwell cookies back in the 80s.)

It’s more like I feel uninspired. Or… lazy if you will as it were as it be. I think that part of the reason I’m at a loss is because now that there are infinite bloggers out there all narcissistically writing about themselves and the world and their kids (myself included), there is LITERALLY nothing left to talk about. Unless maybe it’s the widespread, inappropriate usage of LITERALLY. Oh wait, that’s actually already been covered, too. Literally, you can read about that here.

Personally, I blame the deadly combination of Huffington Post and Facebook. Thanks to them, several blog posts and columns go viral everyday. Just in the past few months, I’ve read columns about the following:

The Top Five or Ten or Twenty Things We Want…
… our boys to know about life.
… our girls to know about life.
… to teach our boys about girls.
… to teach our girls about boys.
… our kids to understand about race… religion… beauty.

The definition of beauty and embracing our differences and flaws. (Acne is FINE… who knew?)
Mixed messages in media. (NOBODY on TV has acne!)
Mixed messages from moms who avoid the camera. (Moms, get in the picture!)

Enjoying every moment with our kids, because “time flies!”
The impossibility of enjoying every moment. (Because so many of the moments suck huge!)
Dealing with embarrassing meltdowns in Target.

What we should and shouldn’t eat. (SHOULD: CME DARK Chocolate. SHOULDN’T: CME MILK Chocolate.)
WHY we eat what we shouldn’t eat.
What we should and shouldn’t feed our kids.
Why we shouldn’t overthink what we feed our kids.

Healthy habits.
Body image.
Mommy wars.
Queen bees. (Apparently, it’s not just for middle school anymore!)

Practicing kindness.
Encouraging our kids to not be too nice.
Developing thick skins.

Standing up and making yourself heard.
Knowing when to keep your mouth shut. (Very, very, very difficult if you’re one of my kids.)

Reading this book or that book to learn all about this or that.
Ignoring all the books and trusting your instincts.

Helicopter parents.
Negligent parents.
How neglect can be healthy.
How children are all special.
How not ALL children are special.
How do we define special?

Too many activities.
Too much homework.
Too much screen time.

Coping strategies.
How to talk to your kids so they’ll really listen.
The importance of respecting privacy.

How much discipline? How little? HOW?

Sleep. Never. Enough. Sleep.

Communication. Talking to our kids about being gay. Talking to our kids about bullying. Talking to our kids about Justin Bieber’s arrest. (I’m sure this was necessary for some parents… I am SO HAPPY I was not one of them.)

What teachers want parents to know.
What parents want teachers to know.
What coaches want parents to know.

The Top Ten Ways to Be the Best Parent for Boys. for Girls. for Pets.

The Top Ten Ways to Win at Sports. at School. at Life.

The Top Ten Ways to Nourish. Communicate. Raise Resilient Children. Avoid Raising Entitled Brats. Teach. LOVE.


IS ANYONE ELSE EXHAUSTED BY ALL THE LEARNING?  There’s so much to read; so much to remember. Who has the time or the mental capacity? (Well, actually, I do have the time, as previously established, but definitely NOT the mental capacity.) 

AND this is also why I can’t think of anything to write about. It’s LITERALLY all been written already.

So, until I’m struck with an original, interesting idea, I will leave you with this exchange:

Me: Nib, why are hiding behind my chair?
The Nibbit: Shhhh… Happy Dude is looking for me… he wants to CRUSH ME.

Crushing in progress

Crushing in progress

On second thought, I WILL share my Top Three Rules for Life:

  1. Do your best.
  2. Be kind.
  3. Avoid being crushed.

And have a great weekend.


4 responses »

  1. I could not agree with you more. Literally, I couldn’t agree with you more than I already am. I find myself sucked into all of those blogs too, and after it all, I basically feel like a shitty parent, because I’m only doing 1/10 of what they say. You’re blog is by far the best and most enjoyable to read, not to mention the most HI-larious.

    I hope you feel inspired again, but if what you wrote above is done without any inspiration, I’m really impressed and am excited to see what’s next.

  2. Great list…I will try my best to follow. And my advice to you, you busy lady, is DO NOT get involved with Words With Friends…so addicting I almost forgot to eat yesterday….okay, that’s an exaggeration…I never forget to eat. Bathe, maybe, but not eat!

  3. I’m exhausted just reading about what to read. I always told my girls to go with your first instinct, your gut feeling. It almost always works out. (almost) You’re doing something right. Your kids are beautiful! Keep writing, you make me smile.

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