Travel: the Good, the Bad & the Crippled


Ah, I’ve been away for so long! I’ve missed you so much!

(“you” = “Starbucks”)

We got back late last night from vacation and I’ve just been sitting at the computer all day inhaling all of the Internet I missed while away. Big, deep gulps of sweet, sweet Internet.

And in between the big gulps of Internet, I’ve dabbled at writing this post. Write a few sentences, check Facebook. Write a few more, read every entry in my Feedly. That’s how this day has gone. It’s taken about four hours (editor’s note: it ended up taking twelve), but this is what I’ve come up with:

Random Thoughts and Observations about Travel in General and More Specifically, Our Recent Vacation to Turks & Caicos

Travel: I don’t love it. Here’s why:

1. I hate to fly to the point that I need to add in extra time for vomiting. To Do Before Flight: shower, vomit, finish last-minute packing, vomit, get the kids ready, vomit.

Flying WITH the kids is exhausting and stressful because what if the plane goes down and those oxygen masks fall and after I put on my own (hey, I’m a rule-follower) I only have time to save one of my kids… who would I pick? And also, the PLANE IS GOING DOWN.

And flying WITHOUT the kids is depressing because growing up without me is clearly not something my children would be able to overcome and I’d have sentenced them to a life full of sadness and therapy and maybe rehab and probably a lot of cats.

And before you ask, yes, drugs help. Stronger drugs help more. But nothing helps enough.

2. Traveling with young kids is just like regular life, only without all the comforts of home – like frozen waffles, three bins of stuffed animals and two venti iced coffees a day – and with many more opportunities for meltdowns. Plus, I love my home. I almost never feel any urge to leave it at all, nevermind to board a flying death machine.

3. I’m not that adventurous. Or curious. I don’t love to try new things or eat new foods or even see new places.

Wow, I’m AWFUL.

(Waiting for reassurance…)

No really, I know I am kind of boring. Unless we’re drinking Margaritas, of course. Then I’m more fun than… well, sitting at home reading the Internets! Woohoo!

Lest you think otherwise, I have seen a good number of places outside my state lines. I have traveled extensively within the US (in fact, Maine and Alaska are the only two states in which I’ve never set foot or car tires. And before you say it, I already know how close Maine is; I’ve seen a map) and Europe, backpacked in Australia and New Zealand, safaried in South Africa and hiked around Machu Picchu in Peru with my sister, because she forced me to. (She’ll want me to include the fact that I also promised to go to Fiji with her with Habitat for Humanity and then bailed at the last minute. She went anyway. Alone.) While I feel kind of lame saying that I never want to go to Vietnam or Alaska or Thailand, it’s true.

Jenny Lawson (aka The Bloggess) recently spent hours answering readers’ questions and this one just spoke to me:

Bloggess comment

Yup, I’d have to agree, only I would add “… while KJ takes the kids to Disneyland.” Now THAT would be a win-win for everyone!**

**except KJ

So, we just spent the past week at the Beaches resort in Turks & Caicos with KJ’s side of our family, including Grandma, two aunts and uncles and six cousins ranging in ages from 7-18.

We got off to a bit of a rough start when KJ hurt his knee a few days prior to the trip and instead of getting better, THE OPPOSITE HAPPENED. By the time we left for the airport, he could barely walk. By the time we landed on the island, his knee was the size of a grapefruit and he was forced to request crutches.

Aside from being in a lot of pain, a parent with a serious knee injury on a tropical island vacation (think: swimming, water slides, running away from Mommy during endless sunscreen applications) is virtually useless from a parenting perspective. I might have been jealous of him except for the whole he was in excruciating pain thing.

This leads me to our next mishap. I’m not a water slide kind of girl. Never have been. Definitely definitely definitely never will be. But Happy Dude needed an adult to take him on the water slide and could you say no to this face?

Didn't think so.

Didn’t think so.

We made a few successful runs, but before I could think “This isn’t so ba…” BAM, I smacked my head against the side of the slide immediately before hitting the water. The next few minutes are a blur, but I remember panicking that we were both for sure drowning. In reality, KJ tells me that a.) Happy Dude was completely fine and was pulled out of the water immediately and b.) that the noise of my head hitting the slide was horrific… which is pretty cool, am I right?

I had a pretty bad headache for the rest of the day AND I still have pain in my shoulder and neck. Not to mention that Happy Dude was SOL when it came to water slides because he ran out of un-injured parents to take him.

That said, we had plenty of help from the older cousins whom our kids ADORE. Seeing our kids with their cousins was the absolute best part of this trip.


The Nibbit is in heaven when he’s around his teenage boy cousins because he can basically be as aggressive and rough as he wants to be – which is HIGHLY aggressive and EXTREMELY rough – without getting in trouble. They race, wrestle, tag, dunk, hide and carry… all of the Nibbit’s favorite things.

That’s not to say that the Nibbit wasn’t any trouble at all. Nope, pretty sure nobody would say that. And by nobody, I mean any of the thousands of people who were in his presence at some point this past week.

You know sometimes when you’re out in public, you see a kid misbehaving a little bit and you see the mother overreact and completely snap? And then you feel bad for that poor kid for having to deal with that crazy mother and you have a quick daydream about confronting the mother and saying something like, “I’m sorry, but I couldn’t help but notice what just happened with your son and don’t you think that maybe you overreacted a TINY bit? I mean, he only grabbed that bag of cookies off the shelf and really, what kid DOESN’T grab cookies? So was your screaming ‘PUT THE COOKIES BACK AND LET’S GO’ really necessary? Maybe you should just take a deep breath and give the kid a break.”

Yeah, I’ve done that, too and I can now honestly say, I will NEVER do it again.

Because now I get it. Now I completely understand that in the 30 minutes or two hours or six days prior to the cookie incident, that kid was probably acting like SATAN’S SPAWN. And even though grabbing cookies isn’t such a big deal, the mom just COULDN’T. TAKE. ANYMORE.

It was a serious downside of traveling with my in-laws – downright embarrassment at some of the Nibbit’s behavior. And yes, sometimes my own.

(The other downside of this trip was that the only place that served iced coffee served it in teeny tiny plastic cups and I was all, “This is great, but I’m going to need TEN of these.”)

Of course, the family was very kind and understanding about the difficulties of traveling with little ones, even little ones that sometimes lack the ability to act like a human being in public.

The kids had such a blast on this trip – despite the bug bites, the remnants of Tropical Storm Dorian (thank God for Xbox in the hotel room!) and the looooong travel day home yesterday which included a shuttle bus, waiting in a HOT airport for three hours, the 3½ hour flight, more waiting on a long immigration line and a hour-long car ride home – they loved the water park and the beach and the video games and the dessert buffet and the quality time with the family. We ALL loved the QT with the family and are thankful to Grandma for this experience that the Loud One called the BEST! VACATION! EVER!

Here are some more highlights:

Wreaking havoc in the water park

Wreaking havoc in the water park



Playing "Poison Silverware" at the "very fancy restaurant." (My childhood friends will understand... we didn't have M&Ms!)

Playing “Poison Silverware” at the “very fancy restaurant.” (My childhood friends will understand… we didn’t have M&Ms.)





Riding in the back of the golf cart (because Daddy couldn't walk to the restaurant)

Riding in the back of the golf cart (because Daddy couldn’t walk to the restaurant)

TV FACE: Island version

TV FACE: Island-style

"Hey! This rock is singing!"

“Hey! This rock is singing!” #naturespeakers #toddlersaresogullible

Hammock fun

Hammock fun


2 responses »

  1. What a wealth of memories you have given your kids….and I REALLY want to hear all about Nibbit’s misadventures………

  2. Pingback: Resolution Review: 2013 | Who Needs a Nap?

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