Christmas To Dos: Past and Present

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Christmas To Do List: Last January

1. Throw a very elaborate, open house Christmas party with delicious food, full bar and fun music. Invite everyone we’ve ever known and send all guests home with a token of our holiday spirit.

2. Shop early for the 43 people on my holiday list so that every single person gets something thoughtful and special.

      • Creatively wrap each and every gift, include a personal note (rhymes??)
      • Search Etsy for cute wrapping and tags.

3. Design my own super creative holiday card.

      • Take photo earlier in the year to avoid stressful rush to get it done.
      • Dress the kids in adorable outfits (elf costumes?) to inspire “AOLs” (“Aw’ed Out Louds”).
      • Research environmentally friendly papers for printing

4. Bake glorious holiday treats that will impress all who behold them!

      • Wrap up gorgeous platters to be shared with neighbors and church

5. Host afternoon kids party with a variety of festive activity stations

      • Make your own reindeer food!
      • Decorate your own gingerbread house… life-size!
      • Sit on Santa’s lap (should I get the real Santa or will KJ do?) and share your secret hopes and dreams!

6. Produce an end-of-the-year holiday video to be shared with friends and family highlighting the awesome experiences we had this year.

      • Use cool transitions and sentimental music like “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole.

7. Make each one of my children a homemade gift that will be cherished for years to come (quilt? memory book?). Just like Susan Sarandon did for her kids in StepMom… only without the dying part.

Maybe I have time to hand-carve one of these for everyone on my list?

Maybe I have time to hand-carve one of these for everyone on my list?

8. Perform daily Random Acts of Kindness with the kids which will not only brighten the days of others around us, but will teach my kids the important lesson about the true meaning of Christmas.

9. Plan dinner or coffee with old friends to celebrate our many years of friendship. Reminisce about the holiday parties of yore. (Did I use “yore” correctly there? I know I could check it, but I’m not going to because I just like the way it sounds.)

10. Think of an incredible gift for Dad – the hardest man alive for whom to shop – that’s not a coffee table book about Italy, a rare bottle of wine, tennis clothes or a sweater from Brooks Brothers.

 

Christmas To Do List: October-ish

1. Throw a very elaborate, open house Christmas party with delicious food snacks, full bar beer and fun music. Invite everyone we’ve ever known a few people and send all guests home with a token of our holiday spirit.

2. Shop early soon for the 43 people on my holiday list so that every single person gets something thoughtful and special.

      • Creatively Wrap each and every gift, include a personal note (rhymes??)
      • Search Etsy for cute wrapping and tags. CVS has tags.

3. Design my own super creative holiday card.

      • Take photo earlier in the year soon to avoid stressful rush to get it done.
      • Dress the kids in adorable outfits (elf costumes?) to inspire “AOLs” (“Aw’ed Out Louds”). Elf costumes? You’ve got to be kidding me.
      • Research environmentally friendly papers for printing.  Eff the environment.

4. Bake glorious holiday treats that will impress all who behold them!

      • Wrap up gorgeous platters Throw treats in baggies to be shared with neighbors and church. The church doesn’t like treats in baggies.

5. Host afternoon kids party with a variety of festive activity stations

      • Make your own reindeer food!  Use stickers to decorate this printer paper!
      • Decorate your own gingerbread house… that I printed off the internet!
      • Sit on Santa’s lap (should I get the real Santa or will KJ do?) and share your secret hopes and dreams! KJ will kill me if I ask him to miss work to do this.

6. Produce an end-of-the-year holiday video to be shared with friends and family highlighting the awesome experiences we had this year.

      • Use coll transitions and sentimental music like “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” by Israel Kamakawiwo’ole.  Prepare a Shutterfly album of Christmas card outtakes to send to my aunts… the only people who really want to see pictures of my kids.

7. Make each one of my children a homemade gift that will be cherished for years to come (quilt? memory book?). Just like Susan Sarandon did for her kids in StepMom… only without the dying part.  Do aforementioned baggie’o’holiday treats count?

8. Perform daily a few Random Acts of Kindness with the kids which will not only brighten the days of others around us, but will teach my kids the important lesson about the true meaning of Christmas so we can feel good about ourselves. *Some of you remember that we DID this last year and it was a mini-epic fail. Planning something on a much, much smaller scale this year.

9. Plan dinner or coffee with old friends in the city to celebrate our many years of friendship. Reminisce about the holiday parties of yore. We’re in, we’re out… one hour, tops.

10. Think of an incredible any gift for Dad – the hardest man alive for whom to shop – that’s not a coffee table book about Italy, a rare bottle of wine, tennis clothes or a sweater from Brooks Brothers.

 

Christmas To Do List – CURRENT

1. Plan a party? Parties are bullshit.

2. Shop NOW. Start NOW. You still have all 43 people* to buy for.

      • Try to get most of them wrapped. Or at least throw some in a gift bag. (Preferably not a Valentine’s Day gift bag, but if that’s the only option, at least it’s red. )

3. Design my own card? How about ORDER ANY OLD CARD off of Shutterfly. Just find a picture that contains at least two of the three kids and in which they look like they’ve been bathed. Sometime in the past two weeks.

4. Baked goods? Who am I, Martha Stewart? Stop it.

5. Kids party? I’m pretty sure they do that at school.

6. Video? The aunts will receive a Christmas card. Good enough.

7. Homemade gifts? Greedy little bastards will never appreciate my efforts. Plastic crap it is!

8. Random Acts of Kindness. OK, let’s try to hold the door open for people. And don’t give anyone the finger while driving. EVEN if they cut me off.  (<– Too ambitious.)

9. I love you old friends, but there’s simply no time for any social engagements. Must shop. And wrap. All. Day. Long.

10. Sorry Dad, coffee table book about Italy and tennis clothes it is!

This one's got your name on it, Dad!

This one’s got your name on it, Dad!

Hope you’re all enjoying the holiday season so far! 

—————-

*This is actually true. 43 people.

4 responses »

  1. In August I plan to knit mittens/scarves/bags/socks for my closest friends. Nobody has ever seen one of these items completed. And I have an adorable felt embroidery project that’s been sitting, partially done, in a bag for almost a decade now. You are my people. I did, however, get cards in the mail today. Don’t hate me.

  2. You are so on the mark…thank goodness those who love us appreciate or intentions….no matter what that nasty old quotation says….

  3. Sorry for slow reply….we just came back from four great days in Williamsburg, where they DO make their own gifts, DO have wonderful Christmas gatherings with home-baked pies, DO have caroling in front of the courthouse with magical torches (really!) ablaze, DO have bountiful meals (including fried chicken, French Toast, oatmeal….for breakfast)! They also charge X hundred dollars per night (Lori and Scott paid) and have a staff of hundreds to do all those things! All you need to do is hire a few dozen people….KJ will be fine with that.

    BTW, I love coffee table books about Italy.

    T

  4. 43 people to buy gifts for?! That is outrageous. Start this jan by cutting down that list. At least in half. I find it works wonders if you give them the gift of time to not shop for you as well.

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