Friday Funnies

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I’m pretty sure I missed last week’s edition of Friday Funnies, didn’t I? Hmmm, I guess August 18th – 23rd was simply not that funny.

This week, on the other hand…

First of all, as you know, this week was BACK-TO-SCHOOL week for the Loud One. Like so many people out there (most of whom have OCD, but WHAT. EVER.), I spend the first week of school resolving to be more organized and efficient this year. I know I’m not alone. The 9,482 blog posts and articles I’ve seen about “How to Be More Organized This School Year” tell me that I am NOT alone.

We stand up tall and say things like, THIS YEAR, we will choose our outfits the night before! THIS YEAR, we will review schedules the night before so we don’t commit to being at son’s soccer game and daughter’s dentist appointment at the same time! THIS YEAR, we will make lunches the night before! (And dammit, they will be cute lunches with notes that say things like “Love you, Smartypants!”) And we will always be on time so that it’s never our kid who’s sitting alone on the curb in front of school with his chin between his hands.

We will, again, attempt to BUY organization with new storage bins and mud room baskets from The Land of Nod. We will say things like, “THIS YEAR, you will put your shoes in this basket EVERY DAY when you get home!” We will buy dry erase calendars AGAIN and promise ourselves that THIS will be the year we will keep our kids’ schedules organized with color-coded highlighters and Post-Its!

All of this is funny because by September 20th, it’s over. We’re back to scrambling to get dressed in the morning and picking up sneakers from the hallway floor. We’re canceling appointments at the last-minute because OOPS, double-booked! And that dry-erase board? Three words for you: Re. Cycle. Bin.

Happy New Year Back-to-School everybody.

Other funny stuff this week…

THIS EXCHANGE WITH THE LOUD ONE while watching Little Einsteins:

June from Little Einsteins: Hi, I’m June… I love to dance. Do YOU love to dance?

LO: Uh, yeah [implied “duh” tone}… like a ROCK star.

June: Can you raise your arms up high?

LO: <bummed> Oh, no, I can’t. I have really short arms.

Me: hahahahahahahaha hahahahahahaha

LO: What? Why are you laughing? It’s true! My arms are really short! They are MUCH shorter than the rest of my body.

THIS PICTURE (and the accompanying giggles):

Fun with Photo Booth

 

And finally, this is funny: PARENTING HAIKU.

Thanks to Twitter, our busy schedules and our increasingly decreasing attention spans, Parenting Haiku is a hot, new trend, partly in thanks to Peyton Price and HER WEBSITE.

This is one of my favorites of hers:

 

“Mr. and Mrs.”

means no kids are invited,

especially yours.

 

Always one to jump on a hot, new trend (especially if it’s Bradley Cooper… ba dum dum), here are a few of my own:

 

It is NOT O.K.

To eat Goldfish all day long.

You should eat fruit, Mom.

 

His cute little face

Those giant blue eyes belie

The Devil Within

 

These are words I say:

No. Stop. Go. Don’t. Shhh. Sit. Now.

Repeat. All day long.

 

Have you written any Parenting Haikus lately? (Or any Haikus at all will suffice.) Please share. Please. NOW.

 

PS. I’m not sure why the formatting on this post is so wonky. WordPress must not be a friend of haiku.

6 responses »

  1. Sh&t. I literally–JUST TODAY–received my new mud room organization baskets from the Land of Nod. Please don’t tell me they aren’t going to fix everything, including world hunger.

    • Land of Nod is the DEVIL Jodi… they woo you with their pretty colors and false promises… yet, your Mud Room will NEVER look like theirs. Yet, I always come back for more.

  2. Good to know I’m not alone in the New School Year Resolutions department. I also add I will have a weekly menu and start preparing dinner before kids come home. Lasts about a week usually. This year I haven’t even lied to myself about it.

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