Friday Funnies… sort of


I was on vacation this past week with my brother, Tom, and sister, Lori, and their families – six adults and seven kids ranging in age from 1-year-old to 8-years-old (stay tuned for a post about the awesomeness of cousins… and by “cousins,” I mean “people who are happy to occupy your kids on vacation”), so I didn’t write down all the funny things that made me laugh out loud (typing on the beach –> lame). But I do have a few lines from The Loud One and the Nibbit that made me smile…

1. After our fifth ice cream cone in five days, the Loud One observed:

“Ice cream is sort of like water… with milk in it… that’s kept in the freezer … with taste.”

2. Another pearl of wisdom from The Loud One:

“It’s a good time to go fishing because it’s lunchtime and I bet the fish are looking for some lunch.”

3. Last Friday afternoon, The Nibbit was going to a one-hour session with “Frank the Science Guy” at a local preschool. The Loud One was trying to decide if she wanted to go to and they had the following exchange:

LO: Nibbit, what does the Science Guy do? Like… magic? Or math?
Nibbit: No, he does science stuff. His name is Frank the Science Guy. <implied duh>
LO: Like what? Does he have animals?
Nibbit: No. <He pauses, trying to figure out how to best phrase his answer…> Everything cool stuff is, he brings.

And this last one requires a brief introduction. Actually, it may not be that brief. I’m sorry, but I honestly can’t help it. Skim if you must.

So, my Mom and my aunt (her sister) used to joke about how their daughters must have been swapped because my two cousins were much more similar to my Mom than Lori and I were. They loved shopping and clothes and other girly things like getting their nails done, while whenever our Mom said to my sister and me, “Let’s go to the mall and buy some new clothes!” we would just groan.

It was a cruel twist of fate for my Mom who was desperate to have daughters that wanted to go shopping and get manicures. Instead, she got… us.

Well, payback is a bitch because now, we say the same thing about our own daughters. And never was it more clear than this past week on vacation.

First, let me give you a two-word description of my sister that will tell you everything you need to know about her:


PS. If you don’t understand that reference, than you’re much younger than I am and I hate you.

You know when you go to the local diner and they have those RACKS of brochures and pamphlets for every single activity you could ever possibly do in that area including hot air ballooning, whale-watching expeditions and guided walking tours through the cemeteries of the region? Well, guess who collects all of those things: yup, Lori. And guess who actually does most of those things: yup, it’s Lori. And guess who really wants to do all of those things with her: yup, it’s The Loud One.

The Loud One is just like Lori in two ways: she likes to do outdoorsy stuff and she likes constant activity. (In case this wasn’t already abundantly clear, she did NOT get any of this from me or KJ.)

The Loud One’s ideal day would include: waking up, putting on a loose, non-restrictive dress, rescuing all the worms that were writhing on our driveway, going for a hike, riding her bike, going for a swim, and taking a ride in a kayak. And then coming in for lunch. Oh and while eating, she wants to know what the plans are for the rest of the day.

Aunt Lori would love to do all of that with her… except maybe the worm part.

My nieces, on the other hand, should have been mine. While they too enjoy outdoor activity, it’s to a much more normal degree. Like after taking a hike, they’d like to curl up on the couch and read for a little while. Like three hours. Or two days. In general, they are calm and quiet and awesome.

And I am lazy. So you can see how this would work for me.

Side note: Happy Dude shows promise for being calm and easy. In fact, we decided on this recent vacation that more appropriate names for him would include: Complacent Dude, Chill Dude or just… Dude. But I expect that all to change when he turns three, the same age as The Nibbit when Satan got a hold of him.

OK, so back to what made me laugh:

4. The Loud One and I went out to dinner last night – it was just the two of us since KJ took the boys home after The Great Miniature Golf Debacle of 2012 (this may be post-worthy someday, but right now… it’s too soon) and the following conversation took place:

We’re discussing our vacation and summer in general…

LO: I loved camping with Aunt Lori. And kayaking with Uncle Scott. He likes to do a lot of things on the water.
Me: Yeah, Aunt Lori and Uncle Scott do a lot of stuff that you like to do – camping, boating, hiking…
LO <pause>: Yeah, it’d be really cool if I could live with their family.


She didn’t even have the decency to feel guilty about saying it. Whatever. Maybe the trade should be arranged.

7 responses »

  1. comparing your sister to Julie McCoy is a compliment (but comparing her to the actress who played her – not so much. Remember that Lauren Teuws got fired from the job because she had trouble with her lines. Not remembering them ….inhaling them was the problem)

  2. Casually throwing in that he was three “when Satan got hold of him” was not fair. I totally choked from laughing and drinking coffee at the same time.

  3. I have to stop reading these in the office! People hear me laughing and stick their heads in to see if I am having a spasm or something, because they know that I NEVER laugh in the office! I loved the “WTF”.


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