So, with this new EW.com gig, there are times when I sort of have to “work.” It’s been a while since I’ve had official work responsibilities – assignments, deadlines, a “boss” (in this case, an editor) – and now I’m adjusting to this new scenario.
Of course, the first thing I did was spend my first three paychecks [that I haven’t received yet] buying a cool new desk for my bedroom (KJ –> not thrilled). The desk of course begged for a whole bunch of new, cute, orange (duh) accessories so THAT had to happen.
Now I’ve got the job and I’ve got the desk. BUT. I still have the kids. And even though I have my savior sitter Amanda to watch them, three kids – especially ones nicknamed The Loud One – are really quite loud. So wherever they are in the house, whatever they’re doing, I can hear them. And, surprisingly, I often feel compelled to engage with them.
If the The Loud One and the Nibbit are fighting while Happy Dude needs to be put down for a nap, I feel guilty about not helping out. And if the Nibbit skins a knee, I feel like I should probably get up and deal with help him. Lastly, if I hear them laughing and having fun, I just want to get up and join in. #GigglingHappyDudeisIrresistable
Side note: How are we feeling about the hash tag thing? Funny or no? I may embrace it. Not sure.
Bottom line: I AM EASILY DISTRACTED.
So, I decided to try wearing headphones to enhance my ability to drown out my crazy-loud kids focus, but I’m struggling with what to play. Here’s what I’ve tried:
- Music. Nope, that didn’t work. Knowing all the lyrics just made me want to sing. (And then when I heard One Direction? I just had to DANCE.)
- “Water Sounds” – an album I bought on iTunes, thinking the repetitious sounds would be soothing. Nope. I was all, “Ah, listen to that ocean. I feel like I’m at the beach. I can practically smell the ocean air. I wish I had a Margarita. Frozen. Wow, I really have to pee.”
- Cheesy instrumental music – I tried to embrace this elevator shit but the horn section came on and that just made me think about Kenny G. Then I felt compelled to Google Kenny G to see if he still has that awesome hair (he does) and I also found out that as of today, he and his wife are divorcing after 20 years of marriage. Seriously? This is scary, people. If Kenny G can’t stay married, there is no hope for the rest of us.
- Classical music – this just made me think about weddings and how much I love weddings. Then I got sad that I’m not in my 20s/early 30s anymore because going to weddings as a young, fun, single person with a bunch of other young, fun, single people was AWESOME. Then I had to eat cake to make me feel better.
- Piano solos – First of all, it’s unfortunate that people who play the piano are called pianists. Can’t we collectively think of a name that’s not so embarrassing to say out loud? Secondly, when I turned it on, THIS internal dialogue happened:
“Wow, this is so pretty. I love the piano. I wish I knew how to play the piano. I should never have quit piano lessons immediately after I learned how to play Billy Joel’s Piano Man when I was a kid. I blame Mom. She let me quit too soon. Well, maybe it’s not too late. I could totally take lessons now! YES, this is a GREAT idea! [Google ‘piano lessons for adults.’] See lots of results. But immediately think “Hmmm, weekly lessons may be tough to schedule and feeling pressure to practice every day? That’s not for me. Maybe I’ll get one of those Teach Yourself Piano books… let’s look on Amazon [spend 20 minutes on Amazon reading about how I can teach myself how to play piano in 20 minutes]. Hmm, this seems hard without being able to actually see or hear anything. How can I teach myself piano without actually hearing someone do the steps? Hey wait, I bet there’s an app for that! Yes! There IS an app for that! I’m totally going to do this! I’m so excited! By this time next year, I’m going to know how to play the piano! [pause] Who the hell am I kidding? I’m never going to learn how to play the piano. I can’t even force myself to drink water everyday, how am I going to learn to play the piano. We don’t even have a piano. Put down the App Store and get back to work.”
Maybe I should try a white noise machine.
Yup, I am easily distrac… look, cake!