I have several friends who are considering having a third baby and I have recently had conversations with them about what it’s like to have three. Of course, I’m all “Hey, why don’t you read my blog and you’ll know EXACTLY what it’s like! You’ll also never have unprotected sex again!”

I always wanted three kids. I grew up with three kids and don’t we always gravitate toward the familiar? I also wanted a boy first and then two girls, also just like my family, but guess what? O FOR 3. (You can read more about that here) But as I tell my kids, “You get what you get and you don’t get… to freak out about it, because if you do, you won’t get anything at all except a trip to the staircase where you’ll languish for minutes missing out on valuable fun playtime over here in the family room!” (I totally say that every morning when I’m doling out gummy candy vitamins.)

ANYWAY, three was always my magic number. And thankfully, KJ was on board with that because otherwise we wouldn’t have Happy Dude. And Happy Dude almost always looks like this:

Free cheese in the grocery store makes me giddy.

Maybe it’s because Happy Dude has always been so easy, but I FIRMLY believe that the biggest change regarding kids was not having the second or third, but rather going from NONE to ONE. Think about it… you have that first baby and your world is ROCKED. And not in the good way.

It’s true that when you go from one to two you can’t say “You take the baby, I’m taking a nap” as much as you used to. And when you add the third, you are in fact “outnumbered,” but I’m sorry, that first little, tiny, screaming human being you bring into this world is the one that makes ALL the difference.

He or she is the one that changes you from a free-spirited, easy-going, fun couple to neurotic, responsible, boring, tired, often-cranky PARENTS. All subsequent babies just make you a little more cranky and a lot more tired.

A friend once said to me, “It must be nice to have your third and totally know what you’re doing.” I laughed. Loudly. And then said, “You never know exactly what you’re doing. You just know enough not to care as much.” (Forgive me if I’ve already shared that story, but I’m old and my memory is going… and I haven’t figured out how to take advantage of “tags” yet.)

So, given all of this, I present to you my thoughts on adding additional kids to your household. In table form. Because tables are nice and organized and I’m into that.